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The Myth of the Second Chance

jmward01
130 replies
16h30m

A corollary to this may be that those who get many chances are more likely to succeed. This is often the case for people that have a safety net of some sort compared to those that don't when it comes to, for example, starting businesses. Those with a safety net can fail and try again and again and eventually tell the story of how 'gumption and spirit' made them a success while those that didn't have a safety net 'just didn't try hard enough'. I know I have been exceptionally lucky in that I have been given many chances to fail, and taken them! Without those opportunities to fail safely I wouldn't have the success I have now.

zwnow
121 replies
13h42m

This is a good argument. In Germany, if you take a loan to open up a business, you can pretty much ruin your whole life and financially never recover if it fails once. It's a little different with tech, as you usually don't have as high costs early on, but still. There is an extremely high risk involved that most people simply can't afford.

raincole
58 replies
12h6m

What's the alternative tho? If you take a loan, in most countries you're expected to pay it back, no? Do you think people should be able to default without consequence?

ArnoVW
20 replies
10h7m

In many countries there is the idea of bankrupcy. You make the debtor suffer for a couple of years (to ensure incentive against it) and then wipe the slate.

Bankrupcy is no fun. All your assets are wiped out (house, cars, etc). Sometimes you are excluded from the banking system. So it's not "without consequence".

Lending money is a risky business. That is why you get interest. Getting people off the hook is not ideal, but neither is the inverse. From a societal point of view, this arrangement allows people to take risks that they may not have otherwise. And we're all better off because of it.

arrowsmith
19 replies
9h59m

Do some countries not have a concept of bankruptcy?

throw__away7391
17 replies
9h41m

Most of Europe does not have bankruptcy laws comparable to the US. Technically they do exist but the differences in the details are so large they may as well be called two different things.

scherlock
16 replies
7h6m

Also, the reason people go bankrupt in the US are very different than the reasons people go bankrupt in Europe. 2/3 of personal bankruptcy in the US is linked to medical debt somehow. That is not the case in Europe.

threemux
15 replies
6h32m

2/3 of personal bankruptcy in the US is linked to medical debt somehow

Often cited, but wrong. When you dig in, it turns out to be one of those "wet streets cause rain" causal mix-ups:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5865642/

tialaramex
4 replies
6h6m

While this article points out some potential problems in the methods used to derive that headline political figure, its own methodology seems to have pretty serious flaws. The most I'd take from this is "This is such a bad problem that even when you try pretty hard to look in the wrong place you find it anyway".

This study deliberately does not - just for example - count it as a "medical bankruptcy" if you weren't hospitalized. So magically every person who was bankrupted by the cost of their must-take prescription medicine, they don't count because they need to be admitted to hospital to count for this study.

threemux
2 replies
5h54m

The thing to take from it is not that the figure the linked study arrives at is "right", but that the cited 2/3 figure is seriously flawed to the point that it shouldn't be cited.

As it is, the 2/3 statistic is mainly used to score political points and indeed one of the authors of the original study that came up with the 60% number is Elizabeth Warren. Now, you could say she participated in her capacity as an academic, but I personally have a hard time believing she would have put her name on the paper if it had found, say, 4% of bankruptcies came from medical debt.

tialaramex
1 replies
2h44m

Why not? 4% is also awful. As a politician you'd probably say "One in every 25" rather than 4% if you wanted to emphasise that it's unacceptable.

threemux
0 replies
57m

Yeah I mean you can certainly have the opinion that any amount of medical bankruptcies greater than 0 is unacceptable, but that has nothing to do with my original point that the 2/3 number should not be cited in discussions about bankruptcy.

trashtester
0 replies
3h47m

It's still pretty clearly far less wrong than stating 2/3 of bankruptcies are caused by medical costs.

If people are arguing about whether the Earth is flat or spherical, you cant use the fact that both are "wrong" (as the Earth is closer to an ellipsoid) to say that "flat" is as correct as "spherical".

bumby
4 replies
6h0m

Why would they exclude elderly from their study? It seems odd to exclude a population with higher rates of health problems. Is there assumption that bankruptcy only matters to those who would otherwise be working?

jdewerd
3 replies
4h35m

Because the goal is to discredit the 2/3 number by any means necessary.

bumby
1 replies
4h18m

Tbf, the authors cite (their own) previous work indicating hospitalizations do not cause bankruptcy in the elderly

washadjeffmad
0 replies
1h21m

Technically true. It's paying the bills on top of the second mortgage after helping your 30 year old grandkids afford college, weddings, and starter homes that leads to bankruptcy. A surprise one-time medical cost is only a minimal contributing factor in the arc of recurring mandatory prescription, insurance, and care costs, at that point. My inner Humean rejoices.

That coupled with private equity's involvement in all late / end of life care ensures no one dies with a penny to their name to pass down.

It still paints a picture of an out of control, over-financialized system that only gets more expensive the more money is put into it.

psunavy03
0 replies
2h33m

Ah, there's the old "everyone who disagrees with me is arguing in bad faith" argument the internet loves to make. Wondered how far down I'd have to scroll.

itronitron
3 replies
6h10m

> "wet streets cause rain"

So are you saying that 2/3 of personal bankruptcy cause medical debt?

threemux
2 replies
5h52m

No I'm saying that the conditions that lead to one declaring bankruptcy can also cause one to rack up medical debt.

hklgny
1 replies
5h9m

Having medical issues and no way to pay for them?

shadowgovt
0 replies
46m

More that bodies respond to stress of all forms and people who have a failing business might push themselves beyond reasonable healthy limits to avoid that outcome, leaving them in a situation where their finances are wrecked just in time for all the chickens they stored up not getting enough sleep, pulling a double shift, working through the pain, etc. to come home to roost.

Repulsion9513
0 replies
5h4m

Ignoring any other issues here let's look at the article:

people who were admitted to the hospital

Ah yes, because there's no other way to get large medical debt. Not like an ambulance and ER stay alone will be high.

in California

Obviously representative of a wider area: the most expensive state in the country and #5 highest median income.

adults 25 to 64 years of age

Yes, let's exclude those who tend to have the highest medical bills and lowest incomes.

were admitted to the hospital (for a non–pregnancy-related stay)

Yes, let's exclude pregnancies, which can be extremely expensive (thank god medicaid covered ours).

for the first time in at least 3 years.

Yes, let's exclude people who have the highest medical debt by virtue of having had multiple hospitalizations.

kome
0 replies
9h44m

I would say, most of countries in Europe do not have bankruptcy laws that are lenient like in the US.

koonsolo
12 replies
10h47m

I think in US you can declare yourself bankrupt and start over. The only loan that doesn't work like that is a student loan.

repomies69
11 replies
10h39m

Ah that's why they're complaining about the student loans.

In The European countries I have been living in, the concept of personal bankcrupty doesn't exist in the same way, at least. People who get too much loans kind of just hang with them, after 15-20 years they are forgiven AFAIK.

eru
9 replies
10h30m

Btw, my suggestion for the US would be to remove that special bankruptcy exception for new student loans.

That's because once you do that, the supply of new student loans would most likely dry up. Thus shutting off the money fountain for the education industry.

rayiner
6 replies
7h41m

Your suggestion wouldn’t work because nearly all student loans (over 90%) are issued by the federal government, which does not (and for political reasons, never will) evaluate credit risk.

bumby
5 replies
5h54m

An alternative is to tie the federal student loan program to a regulation in school cost. If the school exceeds some threshold, their students are no longer qualify for federally-backed loans. Granted, it creates administrative burden but it’s the only proposal I’ve heard that seems to address the root problem of tuition costs and almost unfettered access to collateral-free loans.

Repulsion9513
3 replies
4h58m

That's unlikely to be accepted for other reasons. Putting a limit means most will approach that limit, and those that exceed the limit will be even more unaffordable. Plus no one will agree on what the limit should be. Which makes them extremely unpopular (except for benefits to individuals which of course should have the lowest limit possible nationwide)

bumby
2 replies
4h55m

Plus no one will agree on what the limit should be.

We do this with drug reimbursement costs and construction already and I’m pretty sure those for-profit companies would also disagree on what the limit should be. I also don’t think it needs to be a one-size-fits all threshold; it could be adjusted to COL and/or job prospects that are tied to graduate statistics. IMO that goes a long way to aligning the incentives of the student and the institution.

I’m curious if you have an alternative solution

Repulsion9513
1 replies
3h48m

Yeah, I intentionally didn't say it wouldn't happen, just unlikely :)

Personally I think limits (and significantly higher grants to make student loans unnecessary for a basic post-secondary education) are needed. But I think it's worth recognizing that limits will make what's already a very divisive issue, even more divisive...

bumby
0 replies
1h26m

I think more thoughtful limits would be a good idea. I also think the reduction of aid money has been part of the problem. I just don't know where the money comes from to shore up that problem.

I have seen other pilot programs. I think it was Purdue who was considering "buying stock" in students, where the student would pay a portion of their income for a certain number of years in exchange for a scholarship.

rayiner
0 replies
5h7m

That would be a good idea.

trashtester
1 replies
3h10m

Just make the college a guarantor for the student loan. That would solve a lot of the issues with higher ed in the US today....

bumby
0 replies
1h29m

I think that's a potential part, but to play devil's advocate: don't you think this may exacerbate the opportunity gap? I.e., those who are the best bets (in terms of not defaulting) are also those who come from well-off backgrounds?

greenavocado
0 replies
3h40m

Germany has Verbraucherinsolvenzverfahren. The individual's credit rating will be negatively affected for several years after the completion of the procedure. The insolvency proceedings are recorded in a public register, which can be accessed by anyone. The process typically lasts for six years, during which the individual must adhere to a strict budget and make payments to creditors. After completing the six-year period, the remaining debts are discharged, provided the individual has adhered to the terms of the insolvency plan.

Step 1 is außergerichtliches Schuldenbereinigungsverfahren where the debtor attempts to reach an out-of-court settlement with creditors. This stage usually lasts up to 6 months.

Then there is Eröffnung des Insolvenzverfahrens where if the out-of-court settlement fails, the debtor files for insolvency with the local court. The court appoints a trustee to manage the debtor's assets and liaise with creditors. This stage typically takes 1-2 months.

Next there is either Regelinsolvenzverfahren or vereinfachtes Insolvenzverfahren. In the latter if the debtor's assets are insufficient to cover the costs of the proceedings, the court may initiate a simplified insolvency process. The debtor proposes an insolvency plan to the creditors, which includes a 6-year repayment period. If the plan is accepted, the court approves it, and the debtor begins making payments.

In the former, if the debtor's assets are sufficient to cover the costs, regular insolvency proceedings take place. The trustee liquidates the debtor's assets and distributes the proceeds among creditors. The debtor proposes an insolvency plan, which typically includes a 6-year repayment period.

After the insolvency plan is approved, the debtor enters a 6-year good conduct phase called Wohlverhaltensperiode. During this period, the debtor must adhere to the repayment plan, maintain gainful employment, and inform the trustee of any changes in their financial situation. The debtor is allowed to keep a portion of their income for living expenses.

If the debtor complies with the terms of the insolvency plan during the good conduct phase, the court grants a discharge of the remaining debts called Restschuldbefreiung. This typically occurs 6 years after the opening of insolvency proceedings.

This is really not that different from bankruptcies in America. I think Europeans are simply unaware of their options.

In the US Chapter 7 bankruptcy will remain on the individual's credit report for up to 10 years, making it difficult to obtain credit, secure housing, or find employment. Chapter 7 bankruptcy is a matter of public record, which can be accessed by anyone. The process is relatively quick, typically lasting 4-6 months. Most unsecured debts, such as credit card balances and medical bills, are discharged upon completion of the process.

Chapter 13 bankruptcy will remain on the individual's credit report for up to 7 years, which is less than Chapter 7. Like Chapter 7, Chapter 13 bankruptcy is a matter of public record. The repayment plan typically lasts for 3-5 years, during which the individual must make regular payments to creditors. After completing the repayment plan, the remaining eligible debts are discharged.

Verbraucherinsolvenzverfahren lasts longer (6 years) than both Chapter 7 (4-6 months) and Chapter 13 (3-5 years). Verbraucherinsolvenzverfahren and Chapter 13 involve a repayment plan, while Chapter 7 does not. Chapter 7 has a longer-lasting impact on credit ratings (10 years) compared to Verbraucherinsolvenzverfahren and Chapter 13 (6-7 years).

France has a procedure called "rétablissement personnel," which is similar to Chapter 7 in the US, allowing individuals to liquidate their assets and discharge their debts. In the UK, individuals can file for bankruptcy or enter into an Individual Voluntary Arrangement (IVA), which is similar to Chapter 13 in the US.

jurgenaut23
11 replies
10h58m

Short answer: yes, but.

Without consequence, of course not. But you should be able to 'separate' your professional and personal life, even as an entrepreneur.

I would NEVER found my own business if I knew that going bankrupt would take away my kid's house. This is why instruments such as limited responsibility companies have been invented.

PurpleRamen
8 replies
4h11m

But you should be able to 'separate' your professional and personal life, even as an entrepreneur.

Why? In case of success, you have the personal benefit from it. So why should other people and society take the bill in case of your fail? Or how exactly is this supposed tor work?

bende511
6 replies
3h59m

If I go to open a restaurant and I can convince a bank to lend me capital to start the business, and then it fails, I can see an argument for why they shouldnt lend me money to open a second restaurant, at least not right away. But why should I be penalized in personal life for a business failing. Should the bank get to take my house if my restaurant fails? Should I be prevented from getting a credit card?

PurpleRamen
5 replies
3h50m

Where is the money coming from? And who should pay the bill you have left, when you fail? It will not disappear, and for the health of the system it can't disappear, so where is it going?

bende511
3 replies
3h14m

well, thats the risk the bank takes when they lend my business the money, that I might not be able to pay it all back. they eat the loss, minus whatever they can recover from assets left over. and I get a mark that says you should think twice before lending me money for a restaurant again. but my life isnt ruined. i get to keep my house, i can still participate in financial society. the alternative is, as someone else pointed out, only those with lots of resources can afford to try to create new businesses. the US policy is that its worth it to have a more lenient bankruptcy process, with more bankruptcies that are less ruinous, since it leads to more risk taking (ie new business formation).

PurpleRamen
2 replies
2h46m

In Germany, your life is not ruined if you go bankrupt and have to pay for the fail you created. Society still gives you shelter, food, healthcare, even if you have lost your luxury. So there is no reason to make wasting resources and harming society simple.

vidarh
0 replies
1h45m

Germany has limited companies - it's what GmbH's and AG's are for.

I'm not aware of any jurisdiction where "wasting resources and harming society" by having a company with limited liability go bankrupt isn't fairly simple.

Germany, like some other companies in Europe has fairly "high" requirements of share capital, but it's still only 25k Euro.

bende511
0 replies
2h34m

well, its not harming society, its harming the lender. we obviously want to have protections against people taking advantage, but ultimately its up to the lender to make sure that the borrower has a realistic plan to pay back the loan, at least within whatever risk parameters they are willing to accept. In the end, its a tradeoff, the US has higher new business formation, especially from less well-off members of society, but more of those businesses fail.

rurp
0 replies
2h29m

The party lending the money is knowingly taking the risk, and they get compensated for that risk by charging an interest rate that both sides agree to. There is nothing inherently nefarious about business loans. Some loans work out, others don't, and a competent lender will usually come out ahead in the long run.

vidarh
0 replies
1h50m

This is pretty much exactly the point of limited companies: You can tell that you're dealing with a limited company because of the name suffix, and you know (or should know) that if that company fails, you risk losing anything they owe you and there's very low chance of going after the proprietors.

jeffreygoesto
1 replies
8h48m

Knew a guy who tried to outsmart tax rules and founded the company as his wife's. Also had a big mortgage on their house. She fell in love with the local butcher (no joke) and one afternoon they emptied the bank account and flew to Goa. That guy lost his wife, his company and his house in one afternoon and went straight to ER with a heart attack.

WalterSear
0 replies
2h25m

And his butcher.

throw__away7391
3 replies
9h43m

You declare bankruptcy and walk away, more or less without serious consequences so long as you were not deliberately fraudulent. You may have trouble getting another loan or conversely you may find it easier now that you have relatively more experience than before.

Germany in particular takes a moralistic approach to finances that IMO harms the economy quite a bit and constrains entrepreneurship to the well connected and already established. You are only supposed to start businesses that succeed.

In reality money is not a real thing, money is numbers in a computer database that we collectively signal and coordinate the economic activity and utilization of the resources that hold the real value. As such a certain amount of default well above zero is optimal to maximize the amount of real world value being generated.

PurpleRamen
1 replies
3h30m

Germany in particular takes a moralistic approach to finances that IMO harms the economy quite a bit and constrains entrepreneurship to the well connected and already established. You are only supposed to start businesses that succeed.

It's more pragmatic, than moralistic. Germany aims for high quality in business and workers, the whole system is based around this. USA seems more aiming for quantity. Just throw money at it, and see what sticks. But the difference is, USA is very big and wealthy in resources and manpower, so it can afford this. Germany, like other European countries, is rather small and lives from connecting with others. So efficiency is very important.

throw__away7391
0 replies
1h32m

My experience is incomplete I will admit and possibly outdated besides, however I speak German, regularly consume a fair about of German news, and I spent a few months living in Munich. The attitude I've observed, especially among older Germans, is that buying with credit is a moral shortcoming while paying with cash is virtuous. High interest rates are considered good because they reward savers, conversely people complain about low interest rates as an injustice.

Also, Germany has the 3rd largest economy in the world, so not as large as the US or China, but I wouldn't exactly call them "small" economically.

phkahler
0 replies
4h21m

> As such a certain amount of default well above zero is optimal to maximize the amount of real world value being generated.

Someone who had worked in banking once told me they adjust lending standards to maximize profit. I was shocked that this meant about a 6-7 percent default rate on the mortgage loans. If you are too stringent you won't lend any money and if you let it flow freely you'll fail under all the defaults, so yes there is an optimal amount of failure even for the lender.

RobotToaster
2 replies
8h41m

If a large corporation takes out a loan, even a substantial one, and fails, the corporation can just go bust and the people behind it have no responsibility.

A new business generally requires a director's guarantee to get a loan, completely defeating the point of a limited company.

vidarh
0 replies
1h39m

But that's the norm almost everywhere. Try going into a regular US bank and ask for a loan for an LLC. Almost everywhere will expect collateral and/or a business plan and/or personal guarantees if the business is new. Some countries have more risk-averse banks than others, but it's a matter of degree not a fundamental difference, and generally reflected in interest. And it then just changes the calculus of when you look for investors rather than lenders.

nerdawson
0 replies
4h20m

A new business hasn't proven itself viable therefore it's a huge risk to a bank.

Between personally guaranteeing a loan and not having the funding available at all, I'd take the former.

Once the business has been trading for a while and shows it has a working model, it shouldn't have any problem financing without a personal guarantee.

Either way, limited liability remains crucial. You're still in control of how much personal risk you're accepting, putting a backstop on any loss.

kergonath
1 replies
1h20m

Il am not sure I think that, but as a matter of fact successful people tend to be bankrolled by either friends, family, or some kind of extended network that allows them to fail several times. I think it is unfair, and I find it really obnoxious when they lecture us about grit and bootstraps instead of being grateful for their network or luck, but it is what it is.

helveticar
0 replies
45m

Yes, exactly this. A second chance is a safety net, available mostly to those with the circumstances or resources to deploy it. One helpful circumstance being youth (plenty of time), while an obvious resource is personal or, more likely for the younger, parental wealth.

Attitudes to risk taking are similar, e.g. your fear of high wire walking depends hugely on whether you have a safety line or not. Wealthy kids might pride them themselves on taking chances where the reality is that in their whole existence they have never been exposed to the possibility of paying the price for failure.

pge
0 replies
7h13m

equity financing rather than debt

no_wizard
0 replies
4h0m

Bankruptcy in the US for example, is way more straightforward for businesses compared to individuals. Its not nearly as frowned upon for businesses. Take for instance:

In Silicon Valley for instance, many founders of successful businesses had multiple failures founding other startups first, it seemingly is part of the Silicon Valley ethos, almost looked at with a badge of honor.

OscarTheGrinch
0 replies
1h2m

The alternative is VC / investors. They don't get their money back if your buisness fails, but you have given away much of your equity if you succeed.

Generally a much better deal for first time founders.

tristramb
42 replies
12h25m

"In Germany, if you take a loan to open up a business, you can pretty much ruin your whole life"

So instead you ruin other people's lives?

hgomersall
39 replies
12h2m

The bank? The ones whose job is literally to turn risk into premium on loans?

jurgenaut23
38 replies
10h56m

Yes, exactly. It's amazing how people don't see that the _whole_ point of banks is to aggregate defaulting risks across a very large number of loans to power the economy.

eru
37 replies
10h25m

Banks have more than one point and function.

Eg they also provide 'checking' accounts. There's no conceptual reason why that function needs to be bundled with the 'aggregating default risk' function; but it happens to be so in many countries.

To illustrate, on the one hand, think of an institution that takes deposits and lets you transfer money to pay your rent etc, but doesn't make any 'real' investments: all they do is park the deposits in government loans.

On the other hand, think of exchange traded funds that invest in a wide array of bonds (or even equities). They diversify defaulting risk across the economy, without taking deposits, like your typical bank does.

hgomersall
36 replies
9h58m

The ability to provide loans from nothing is the special feature of a bank, which is why they are so heavily regulated. The deposits are just the opposite half of the loan creation. No bank invest deposits - they're a liability to the bank.

kd5bjo
29 replies
8h48m

A bank can just magic up an account with $1M in your name, sure, but when you show up to withdraw the money they have to source that currency from somewhere— Their loans won’t be held in very high regard if you can’t then use the loaned money to, for example, pay for all of the various labor and materials you need to build your new house.

That somewhere is the bank’s depositors.

somewhereoutth
25 replies
7h54m

Except that they don't have to source that currency from somewhere - it really is literally magicked up out of thin air! When you come to spend it, that amount is transferred to another bank, that they can then offset against their own magic money.

The only relationship with deposits (which are actually liabilities) and assets is that enforced by regulators.

This is how money creation works in the modern economy - so the money supply can grow as economic activity increases, all guided by central banks / governments with levers such as interest rates, open market activities (QE), and regulations.

Again - banks really do create money from nothing, all day, every day.

floating-io
16 replies
7h19m

Citation needed. I do not believe this for even a single moment.

The only institution that can "create" money from thin air is the government. And even that is a polite fiction when you realize that "printing more money" also inherently devalues the money already in the system.

neilwilson
4 replies
6h51m

You can only really hold the "printing more money" analogy in your head, if you are prepared to balance your thinking and accept that taxation and loan repayment "shred money" and that financial savings is "putting money in a drawer".

At which point you will realise there can be no devaluation since money is destroyed as it moves around, and money in drawers may as well not be there.

floating-io
2 replies
6h43m

I do not personally see money in those terms.

I see money as units of resource allocation. There are only so many available resources at any given moment. More units of allocation means less resources allocated per unit.

I'm also not an economist. :)

neilwilson
0 replies
3h39m

Money is the oil in the engine not the petrol.

There isn't and never has been a one-to-one relationship between money and stuff. At best it is inductive.

Just as with electrical engineering, the real world requires a reactive supply, which is what allows electrical innovation beyond direct resistive loads.

Electrical supply engineers hate reactive power, but without it we don't get iPhones.

The power triangle gives the best engineering analogy to the way the monetary system works.

hgomersall
0 replies
5h59m

Clearly that's not true as the bank note analogy shows. If you print trillions of £50 pound notes and stuff them into an empty coal mine guarded by many competent people with guns, that's not going to have any impact on prices whatsoever.

eru
0 replies
4h14m

That sounds like 'modern monetary theory', which is neither modern nor monetary.

But it is both novel and correct. As in it has both novel and correct parts.

nootropicat
3 replies
6h34m

What he wrote is a popular myth that originated in a misunderstanding how fractional reserve works, it just means they have long term assets to cover short term liabilities. There's a lot of this stuff on youtube.

If it was true no banks would ever fail, qed.

Ultimately being fundamentally wrong in how the financial system works is extremely unlikely to impact anyone's daily life.

mlrtime
0 replies
5h41m

This topic and thread is a great example that HN'rs often have very little understanding of certain subjects that get posted here.

If it is VC or SF Tech related, I usually learn something. Anything around Banking, Finance, Trading, Crypto etc... not so much.

eru
0 replies
4h8m

And as usual, 'modern monetary theory' rears its ugly head, too.

floating-io
2 replies
6h40m

I only skimmed this briefly (no time), but things operating as suggested (eg the banks loaning money they do not have) would fall into the category of fraud IMO.

Whether that's currently legal or not is another matter that I cannot comment on.

hgomersall
1 replies
6h14m

That document is published by the Bank of England. I'm not sure what higher authority would convince you.

floating-io
0 replies
5h33m

I never said it was false; only that it suggests fraud.

eru
0 replies
4h12m

Fractional reserve banking does not work like this.

You still need assets in fractional reserve banking. Those assets just don't need to be reserves.

Ie 90% of your assets could be diamonds in the vault, and 10% could be reserve cash in the vault. That would be fractional reserve banking, but you still have 100% assets. (In practice, you have more than 100% assets. The excess is your equity cushion.)

If your liabilities outstrip your assets, that's when you are bankrupt. Fractional reserve banking doesn't help you there.

eru
0 replies
4h8m

While I disagree with somewhereoutth and mostly agree with you, it is true that banks can create money.

However banks don't create money out of thin air. However they can create it out of assets.

As a silly thought experiment: if your bank has a vault full of valuable assets, like diamonds and deeds to houses in prime real estate, stocks etc, they can in principle create loan/deposit pairs (ie make loans and credit the borrowed funds to the borrower account).

When people make withdrawals, especially when they make more withdrawals than the bank has reserves, they just sell some of their assets to cover the difference. That's all pretty normal and boring.

Customers think of their deposits of 100% like money and economically behave as if that was true, but in practice they are backed by 10% money, ie reserves, and 90% other assets.

(The percentages are for illustration only.

Also we ignore minimum reserve requirements and other laws here. Many countries don't have minimum reserve requirements anyway.)

nootropicat
6 replies
6h24m

No they don't, banks have accounts with the central bank. They also have their assets and liabilities. They have to manage the system so that they can manage external withdrawals. When assets outweigh liabilities it's a bankruptcy. When current demand for withdrawals exceeds short term liquid reserves it's a liquidity issue. At no point do banks create base money. A balance in a bank is just an iou for base (central bank's) money.

The only entity that creates money is the central bank. They may even accept mortgages from banks as collateral (including repurchase agreements) to inject new money into the system.

Regulations are supposed to prevent bankruptcy and liquidity issues, but even without any regulations regarding asset ratios, banks can go bankrupt or illiquid.

kd5bjo
3 replies
6h2m

That document completely agrees with ‘nootropicat, except for a difference in terminology— What ‘nootropicat calls “money” the BoE calls “base money.”

(And, for the record, this is also what I’ve been meaning by “currency”)

hgomersall
2 replies
5h46m

So if someone pays you using a credit card, or using money they derived from a bank loan, presumably you don't accept that money because it's not a loan from the central bank - it's not "base money"?

Incidentally, the only claim you as a lowly individual ever have on central bank money in most (all?) current currency areas is as physical currency, and even then for the most part you only ever get to exchange it for commercial bank money. For the purposes of this discussion, all digital money between most normal entities is commercial bank money. Commercial bank money _is_ money.

kd5bjo
1 replies
5h29m

I trust that my bank is well-enough managed to provide me with physical currency up to the amount of my account balance, so I’m happy to accept any form of payment that results in an appropriate increase in that number— Just because I draw a distinction between currency and commercial money doesn’t mean that I don’t believe that the latter is money.

And I rarely exchange physical currency for digital money these days— Usually I’m exchanging it for food instead.

neilwilson
0 replies
3h44m

It must be peculiar living in such a backward nation that still relies on physical currency to buy food.

I just wave my phone at a terminal.

eru
0 replies
4h5m

At no point do banks create base money.

This is true, and most of the rest of what you are saying is also true.

The only entity that creates money is the central bank.

This is not true. Banks really can take arbitrary assets and turn them into money. Just not base money!

eru
0 replies
4h19m

When you come to spend it, that amount is transferred to another bank, that they can then offset against their own magic money.

No. The other banks demand settlement in outside currency. In the olden days, they shipped gold around every so often. Nowadays, in the end you settle in central bank deposits.

neilwilson
2 replies
6h56m

Not really. The process is as follows.

You go to a bank with an asset. In this case the new house. The bank then creates a new financial asset called a 'mortgage' that goes on the asset side of their balance sheet. Against that they create a liability called an 'advance' that they give to you.

You then give the advance to the builder in return for the house, where it becomes a deposit of the builder than they can then transfer to anybody else in payment for goods and services.

If any of them happen to be at another bank then all that happens is the deposit is transferred to the bank and it becomes an 'inter bank loan'. The target bank then simply creates another deposit in its books to balance that loan and that is allocated to the customer being paid.

It's all just debits and credits. What limits bank money creation is the assets they are prepared to discount and the creditworthiness of the individuals they choose to advance to and whether the bank believes they can pay the current price of money.

kd5bjo
1 replies
6h20m

I think you’re glossing over some important details regarding the inter-bank loans. As far as I understand, they are not automatic and must be negotiated in the same way as any other bank loan.

Modulo some amount of transaction batching, when one bank’s customer initiates a payment to an account at another bank, reserves are actually transferred between the two banks (these days, in the form of central bank account transfers).

Each bank’s main concern is managing its daily cashflow— They need to have sufficient reserves each day to cover that day’s net outflow of payments. But holding reserves is expensive; they would much rather use that currency as an advance payment for a new loan if they can, so that somebody else is stuck with the currency.

And here’s where the inter-bank loans come into play: Because most of a bank’s outflows happen on an irregular schedule as directed by their depositors, and they have an incentive to hold as few reserves as possible, they may find themselves in a position where they would need to suspend payments. When this happens, they borrow reserves from another bank in order to continue operating. If the borrowing bank is considered trustworthy by the banking community, they generally have no trouble securing such a loan on standard terms.

Of course, if a bank systematically misjudges the default risk of their borrowers, they may have a bigger problem that their assets (future loan repayments) won’t cover their liabilities (future withdrawals by depositors). If that imbalance isn’t corrected quickly, they will eventually find themselves unable to secure future inter-bank loans because they will have become an unacceptable default risk to the other banks.

neilwilson
0 replies
3h32m

"As far as I understand, they are not automatic and must be negotiated in the same way as any other bank loan."

Not in the slightest.

If the bank doesn't take over the deposit in the source bank, then their customer doesn't get paid. At which point they will close their account and move to the source bank. That's a deposit outflow they won't want to have.

Both the source and the destination bank have an interest in ensuring the payment clear. Therefore it does.

Inter bank loan negotiation is about shuffling the risk around for a price afterwards.

"reserves are actually transferred between the two bank"

Reserves don't exist in aggregate. Central banking is a collateral optimisation of correspondent banking.

There was no such thing as reserves in the UK banking system for three hundred years, for example.

Correspondent banking is the base for payments, and is still used for most international currency payments - even with the advent of the CLS central clearing mechanism.

eru
5 replies
9h20m

Banks don't create loans from nothing.

(And if banks could create loans from 'nothing', so could any other company that can issues bonds.)

There have been episodes in history with very lightly regulated banks, and they were very stable banking systems by and large. See the 'free banking episodes' in eg Canada, Scotland, Australia and China. There was no 'creating loans from nothing' that needed to be regulated away.

neilwilson
2 replies
7h0m

They do.

DR Loan, CR Deposit.

Job done.

No need to issue bonds or do anything. It's just splitting the zero in accounting.

Any operation can do that. Generally there is legislation that then brings these 'deposit holders' under specific requirements.

eru
1 replies
4h20m

DR Loan, CR Deposit.

Job done.

You can do that, sure. And if that was all there was to banking, it would be a fantastic business to be in.

Alas, the whole point of taking out a loan is to spend the money on something, eg to invest it.

And once the bank's customer withdraws the deposit half of that newly created pair of anti-particles, the situation isn't nearly as symmetrical and neat anymore: the bank better have some money in the vault to be able to satisfy that withdrawal request.

(Slightly less antiquated: the customer will likely spend their borrowed money electronically, but then just means that you need to have the funds available to settle with the bank who runs the account on the receiving end of that transaction.)

Generally there is legislation that then brings these 'deposit holders' under specific requirements.

Even without legislation or specific requirements, you can't just keep creating these loan/deposit pairs out of thin air. At least not, if your customers are supposed to be able to spend their borrowed funds.

neilwilson
0 replies
3h30m

"And once the bank's customer withdraws the deposit"

Withdrawing is always just transferring to another bank - even if that bank is the central bank.

Banks settle with each other by the target bank taking over the deposit in the source bank. That is how correspondent banking has worked for at least four hundred years.

Everything else is a collateral optimisation.

There is never any "money" in a vault. There might be some receipts for money, but that's about it.

zarzavat
1 replies
6h39m

If a company issues a bond and I buy it then I have to give my own existing money in exchange.

If a company takes out a loan from the bank, the bank isn’t putting up existing money, it just creates a new asset and starts accounting for it. Hence new money is created from nothing.

What stops the bank from creating too many loans is that the bank would become insolvent and all the workers have to carry their stuff out in cardboard boxes (except the execs they probably have someone to do that for them).

eru
0 replies
4h25m

If a company issues a bond and I buy it then I have to give my own existing money in exchange.

If a company takes out a loan from the bank, the bank isn’t putting up existing money, it just creates a new asset and starts accounting for it. Hence new money is created from nothing.

Sorry, your analogy doesn't work out, because the roles are reversed.

Look at the situation where a company sells me a bond, to be paid back in ten years. But instead of me handing money over to them, I give them an IOU (or credit line) that they can draw down any time they wish to.

We can create this pair of bond and IOU out of nothing, just like the bank can create deposit-loan pairs out of nothing.

However, just like with the bank, people don't borrow money to let it just sit there. They want to invest.

So they spend their deposit, and draw down their IOU.

And once your customer does that, you better have some money in your 'safe' that you can hand to them.

In the classic case, that money comes from outside deposits.

What stops the bank from creating too many loans is that the bank would become insolvent and all the workers have to carry their stuff out in cardboard boxes (except the execs they probably have someone to do that for them).

How would they go insolvent in your model?

southernplaces7
0 replies
8h2m

I'm sure the executives at Chase or JP Morgan struggle to wipe the tears of loss from their eyes with 100 dollar bills once you default on a loan their underlings made to you.

The very purpose of even smaller banks is to spread risk across multiple loans and investments in such a way that a client's bankruptcy doesn't ruin them at all. Given the interest rates they charge on certain financial services, they seem to have no problem not going under themselves in most cases.

red_admiral
0 replies
5h53m

Investors like Y Combinator can pool risk, so even if most of their startups fail they're still net ahead.

pier25
8 replies
12h40m

Isn't this the same in most countries?

zwnow
7 replies
11h38m

It is, but in Germany your taxes on wage is very high. It's easier to save up a financial safety net in countries with higher wages and less taxes.

jowdones
6 replies
11h29m

Well it's high in Europe in general. And seems quite similar like in the US. That is you can use a rough estimate of 40%, meaning half the time you're working for the state. So the problem is not taxation as much as low wages. Germany has lower wages than US, Romania has lower wages than Germany. State skims half what you make anywhere. It's the absolute amount you are left with that makes the difference and that's why Americans have more money to spend on businesses than Europe and Europe has more than Asia and Asia more than Africa.

zwnow
2 replies
11h8m

I agree, it's difficult in most countries. Germany has tons of additional laws regarding taxation too. I for myself wouldn't even want to try opening up a business solely due to the taxation expertise I'd have to look up into. Don't get me started on international business too... It's just too much. Kudos to whoever manages to get through all that as a one man business owner.

ido
1 replies
10h46m

As someone running a business in Germany I think you're overestimating it. I have a steuerberater (accountant/tax-advisor) who is also doing my bookkeeping and he takes care of all that. When my UG was young paying him was a few €100s per year overhead. Today (when my company is turning over several €100Ks per year) it's a couple €1000s per year (so relatively negligible expense for my business).

There's still plenty to complain about regarding bureaucracy and red tape but don't let this alone deter you from running a business (especially not a software startup).

zwnow
0 replies
3h20m

I might do, it's just way more work than in other countries. 90% of which I really don't want to bother with.

yobbo
1 replies
9h43m

That is you can use a rough estimate of 40%

No. But it's complicated ... For example, income tax is charged on the employee, after the employer has been charged employer/social fees of 30-40%. And then, sale of most goods are charged ~20% VAT.

The total taxation pressure "per hour worked" is far above 40%.

vidarh
0 replies
1h8m

Total tax wedge (including employer/social fees) for a single person with no children earning 167% of the average worker in Germany was 49.2% in 2023 according to OECD Taxing Wages. Most of the other categories they measure (a matrix of single vs married, no vs 2 children, and 67%, 100% and 167% of average wage for one of the partners w/ the other person at 100%) end up closer to the 40% mark (as low as 28.4%)...

But most people do not count employer contributions, because they are not part of the negotiated salary, and most people don't even know what they are. Yes, they of course affect how high salaries businesses will offer.

In terms of income tax and employee contributions, in the OECD scenarios Germany maxes out at 41.2% (the OECD average is 30%; the US is at 29.1%). As a comparison, Belgium is "always" worst in class on this in Europe, w/47.8%.

Overall Germany is still one of the highest tax countries in Europe, but it also has a higher difference than most countries the highest taxed (high income single earners) and families with children in total effective tax rate - for the later, Germany is much closer to the pack, to the point of being near or below the OECD average for a couple of categories.

VAT in most countries add very little, because most of your gross income does not go towards VAT rates products - for starters you're first paying tax, and then covering housing and most places exclude a number of others things from VAT as well. Depending on country and income level and spending patterns, it does add a few percentage points, but it's rarely significantly skewing the overall taxation level all that much (last time I did the numbers, at a far above average income, VAT increased my total taxation by about 4%)

vidarh
0 replies
1h21m

The US tax levels are lower than Europe, but it mostly events out when you account for health insurance with exception of a few of the highest tax European countries (Belgium always being the extreme outlier, and Germany is usually second, at least of the OECD countries, depending on your specific circumstances)

hgomersall
7 replies
12h1m

Does GMbH not afford limited liability for loans?

heisenbit
3 replies
10h59m

Bank's tend not go give loans to newly formed GmbH without a real person being on the hook.

fransje26
2 replies
9h36m

I've also heard first hand of banks requiring from business owners to be personally liable for the loans even for well-established, successful businesses. And when you are trying to extend your facilities, the loans are not in the 10k range..

It was mind-boggling..

badpun
1 replies
7h57m

If the banks gave cheap credit to businesses without any collateral or any real liability, they would quickly go out of business because of people taking advantage of them. Credit without collateral is available (e.g. credit cards), but it’s not cheap, and it’s limited in size.

fransje26
0 replies
7h22m

We are not talking about consumer loans for financially illiterate pigeons ready to be plucked.

As stated, we are talking about established, multi-generational businesses with high-end equipment already in use, that would more than cover the necessary collateral by orders of magnitude.

zwnow
2 replies
11h40m

It does, but it's about 10k€ and you need to meet certain requirements.

Recovering from a 10k€ loss will take some time in a country with extremely high taxes.

FinnKuhn
0 replies
5h20m

Then use a "UG (haftungsbeschränkt)"

0x073
0 replies
11h17m

And there is UG if you have no 10k€

geraldhh
0 replies
11h41m

please elaborate how germany is different in structuring risk of business failure

FinnKuhn
0 replies
5h17m

From what I could find it bankruptcy in Germany takes 3 years after a change in 2020, which I find is pretty reasonable and is the same length as in the US...

K0balt
4 replies
5h3m

This was really my takeaway as well.

The finality of decisions is highly situational.

The article doesn’t hold true for me, I have used myriad chances to fail, and have so far lived 3 distinct epochs in my life, each one a life unto itself. I owe this to the simple decision of my father to buy 5 acres of raw land a couple of miles out of town and teach me to use tools.

On the basis of that I have never had to rent, I have had my own shelter (starting with a simple cabin and an outhouse) from the age of 16, and I have never been overly dependent on a job to where I wasn’t willing to walk away.

Having simple shelter made it so I could fuck around and find out until I found something that worked a little, then iterate.

I spent many years of my life intermittently in poverty, getting my food from food banks and buying expired surplus from food thrifts, gardening, etc and relying on social programs for medicine, but I was never at risk of being homeless. Always a place to fall back to.

I have parlayed that into a pretty good life, comfortable, productive, and a small economic engine that provides for several families in the community.

My advice for anyone having children: buy land if you can. Not structures, but land. A few miles out of town is fine, because vehicles and bicycles exist. Teach your kids basic carpentry, electrical, mechanical, and masonry skills. Those are the basis of civilisation.

Move to where you can do this if your local environment is too expensive or restrictive. Move to a new country if needed.

I have done this with my children and because of that, they enjoy the same benefits that I had, and are finding their way having known nothing but self determination as the fundamental principle of their lives.

Debt -Free Land you control without many restrictions, not “real estate” is what makes it possible to live better than most people do while technically being in “poverty” by income. That is what makes it possible to take risks. Risks are what makes it possible to find a working solution.

Of course, if you are born into financial privilege, that’s also a great start, but that wasn’t my case. I often struggled to even pay the (very low) property tax.

Without the freedom and willingness to take risks, and the resilience and willingness to endure hardships, you may have to endure being a servant to someone unless you are very lucky, and luck works better if you can make your own.

This might read like a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps “ rant, but it is not. For most people, they are trapped in a situation designed to keep them in service of some goal not their own. It is very difficult to escape, and impossible without the proper training for self sufficient action and the complete lack of debt (or the willingness to lose anything you owe money on) You also might have to sacrifice your comfort, security, and literally risk your life or health to obtain the foothold from which you can launch a self determined life.

That is a position of extreme privilege, but it is one that can be obtained if you want it bad enough and are willing to roll the dice, and accept the finality of failure if you do not succeed (looping back to the article).

My point is that that kind of privilege is more within reach that most people understand. But you might’ve have to be willing to give up everything at first to use it. Most people are simply not prepared for the hardship and sacrifice that entails.

Land is still cheap all over the world. Unless you live on an island, You can probably get an acre of land for a months wages at a fast food place (in the USA) within a weeks bicycle ride of where you are. But that won’t do you any good unless you know how to turn that into a place to live and work from.

langsoul-com
1 replies
3h58m

The article doesn't hold true because of the MASSIVE safety net you've had.

Land, house, zero rent for a long ass time. Your ability to fail and come back is high due to that. And family support.

K0balt
0 replies
3h29m

Yeah that’s what I said, basically. I had land. I built a cabin and an outhouse from salvaged lumber. Hauled water in 5 gallon jugs. Built up from there.

You don’t need a lot to have a huge advantage. Just a roof. And that can start with a couple thousand dollars for a chunk of land somewhere with some kind of dirt road to it that is passable at least most of the year. That opportunity still exists for many, many people.

anonylizard
1 replies
4h13m

"Move to where you can do this if your local environment is too expensive or restrictive. Move to a new country if needed."

Sounds like typical American arrogance.

Everything you mentioned about building up a piece of land from zero, is predicated on a stable legal and economic framework, that protects and values private property. And every country that has that framework, tends to have high land prices already. Try this in some non-developed country, and you'll soon see why the world is considered unjust.

K0balt
0 replies
3h58m

lol. Sounds like typical developing nation defeatism .

I am doing it right now in a developing nation.

I settled here on Hispaniola in 2007.

I am working and living right now in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. We’re building up new infrastructure in agriculture, education, and startup incubation. We have already launched a couple of successful ventures.

Here are not the least stable places, but they’re hardly the most stable either. But the rewards are huge for those that can stomach the risks.

Anyone who wants to try this needs to watch and internalise the film “empire of dust” (2013). It’s A documentary about how to not succeed in a developing nation.

There’s basically zero competition at the early stages because, like you, no one thinks you can do anything.

My kids have established a beachhead in Mauritius and northern India, and we are looking at Madagascar and some demographically collapsing areas in the eastern United States as a possible next step.

renegade-otter
0 replies
4h58m

The clown car eventually drives into a gold mine, given enough gas.

acron0
0 replies
12h17m

This is critical and often overlooked when it comes to fully appreciating socio-economic factors that influence a person's capacity to "succeed". People with the resources are simply allowed to fail and recover more times than those without.

abtinf
0 replies
6h1m

This has nothing at all to do with the article.

6gvONxR4sf7o
29 replies
23h4m

On the job side, this is a scary consequence of specialization. If you can learn a job in a day or a week, you can go where opportunity is. If it requires a degree (or a graduate degree!) then you're so much more stuck.

I've wondered if this is part of the reason for high software salaries. When so many industries needs software, developers can hop from the failing industry to the lucrative one, forcing more efficient competition. Not so for many careers, where the skill set and the industry are tied together.

I'd bet the whole second chance thing gets more brittle as competition and specialization get more important in general, even beyond jobs.

tombert
26 replies
22h46m

If it requires a degree (or a graduate degree!) then you're so much more stuck.

That's a situation I've been in now for a few years now. I'm somewhat burnt out on software engineering, but the last 13 years of work history, a bachelors in CS, and about half a PhD in theoretical CS, my options on who will hire me are kind of limited.

It seems like my only options are:

1) Start a fresh career with a fresh new degree and accept about 1/3 of my salary that I have now for the next 13 years after that.

2) Take a career in non-degreed labor and probably permanently have about 1/3 of my salary.

3) Try and pivot into the management side of things.

4) Start a business.

5) Just live with it.

Since I don't really want to take a loss salary for 13+ years, I'm extremely risk-averse, and I don't want to become a manager, I'm more or less stuck with option 5.

I like software and computer science, but "software engineering" barely counts as either. I expected to be utilizing a million data structures or figuring out proofs of correctness or designing the next amazing distributed system, but it feels like 2/3+ of software engineering is "add field to JSON" or "write a for loop to convert something to a different shape" or "change color of button" or "change width of page layout and then modify selenium tests", and the only data structures that ever get used are hashmaps and arrays. I spent so much time learning the minutia of CSP and TLA+ and set theory and I feel like I have basically nothing to show for it, and now I can't really even change to a career where I would get to use them.

Not that it's really a thing to complain about; I'm pretty lucky to be in a postion where I make about 3x more than I realistically need, so I'm not really trying to garner sympathy, but it's also a situation that becomes kind of easy to burn out on, and sometimes it depresses me more than it really should.

badpun
7 replies
21h45m

There are jobs (e.g. database engine development) where knowledge of distributed systems algorithms comes in handy. Most likely not nearly at the level of your theoretical PhD, but also much more stimulating that adding fields to JSON.

tombert
6 replies
15h39m

I've never worked on database engine stuff, so I cannot speak to it, but I've worked a million jobs, many of which have titles like "Distributed Systems Engineer".

My frustrations come from the fact that "Distributed Systems Engineer" seems to broadly translate to "we use Kafka to glue two services together" for most companies. While that can still require some level of clever engineering, it doesn't really require a ton of theory. At multiple companies, when I do on rare occasion come across a project that requires some more elaborate planning, I will try suggesting using TLA+ to test things out, and management will look at me like I suggested kicking a puppy or something. "Math" is sort of a dirty word in industry, at least in the places I've worked. Maybe I just don't do a great job selling it. In every single job I've ever had, I've always been "that weird math guy", despite the fact that I really don't think I suggest anything that arcane, at least shouldn't be to a software crowd.

Again, it's hardly something to complain about; "Woe is me, I'm making yuppie money but I don't feel fulfilled all the time". It's just something that annoys me.

photonthug
1 replies
12h20m

Lots of us are increasingly interested in formal methods coming out of the labs and ivory tower and seeing more casual usage in industry.

But pitching this sort of thing to management is hard, where if they’ve heard of it at all then they associate it with big brain critical path shit at the highest levels of huge orgs like nasa or aws.

Can’t blame people for not seeing the value yet though.. we need to make things easier/cheaper. Plain old testing is often seen as a cost/effort sink that dev teams and management resent and so of course Model checking looks like a whole different layer of ambiguously-worthwhile effort.

Mere advocacy here won’t win people over, because they care more about costs than “correctness” as an abstract virtue. We probably need progress on things like generating code from models and models from code if we want to see more adoption

tombert
0 replies
55m

I agree, and part of the issue is that if the formal methods work as intended, then by design nothing interesting happens, making their success less visible to managers that aren't paying close attention. Ideally something like TLA+ would catch a bug that you wouldn't notice for multiple years (e.g. infinite money glitches), but that means that value becomes less obvious because it can take multiple years to manifest, and that means you're waiting multiple years for TLA+ to show its value, which would be "nothing happened", which can be harder to measure.

I've debated trying to write a PlusCal->Java transpiler [1], and I haven't really ruled that out yet; while I don't think it should be necessary to have that for PlusCal to be useful, I think it would potentially sweeten the sales pitch.

[1] I think PlusCal would translate better to a sequential Java style program than raw TLA+ would.

lanstin
1 replies
11h46m

Just do the math and don't worry about management. If you are generally productive you can take a quarter here and there to focus on a thing only you know the value of.

tombert
0 replies
1h59m

Yeah, I've taken to occasionally testing some of the simpler stuff I write in PlusCal without telling managers. If they think I'm dicking around with "theoretical" math stuff they might get annoyed but if I submit code that works correctly within a deadline I suspect they'll be alright.

My long term plan on this is to submit a bunch of code that works correctly the first time, and eventually once I am established at this job as "clever" I'll reveal the PlusCal/TLA+ specs and hopefully have a decent sales pitch.

badpun
1 replies
6h52m

What you’re describing are just run of the mill backend jobs. They aren’t very sophisticated in terms of algorithms or theory. What I had in mind is working on say Cassandra or ElasticSearch, or internally within FAANG on one of their database engines. If you’re high enough there (which, granted, may take multiple years) to decide on the future direction of the engine, you get to ponder a lot of theoretical or at least very complex stuff.

tombert
0 replies
1h53m

I did try applying to MongoDB a few times, even made it relatively far in the interview process both times but eventually get the "We regret to inform you..." emails for it. I also failed a phone-screen for CockroachDB though I'm actually not 100% sure why. ElasticSearch never got back to me. I certainly applied for these kinds of jobs (and many, many more), but there's not much more I can do than wait for the companies to recognize my brilliance.

When I worked at Apple I did an internal interview for a team that worked on a distributed-RAID-style thing, did really well on the interview, almost got to the offer stage, but then they saw the previous year's review where I got a "Needs Improvement" for (I think) purely bureaucratic reasons that I've talked about on HN before, and they decided not to move forward.

It's tough, because I think a lot of those jobs are in pretty high demand, and as such a lot of really qualified people apply to them and they can be picky, and I don't really blame them for that. There's a lot more generic unsexy backend jobs.

_carbyau_
5 replies
16h6m

Possible other option: I hope to soon go part-time. IE keep my current job with the pay rate, but change the balance of hours worked. And if it doesn't work how I like, go back to full time.

I like the idea of studying physical design... but we'll see how that pans out.

tombert
4 replies
15h33m

Yeah, I've debated doing that; just doing contracting work half-time and spend the other half of my time focusing on the stuff I actually enjoy. The thing that stops me is health insurance.

My wife is wrapping up her school this year, so once she's working then I might be able to use her insurance and give this experiment a try.

_carbyau_
3 replies
15h15m

Insurance is a fair point I hadn't thought of. I guess there is some link between "full time" vs "part time" and insurance in that sense.

I assume it isn't worth being "part time" and paying for the insurance gap out of pocket. Bargaining power tends not to work that way.

I'm in Australia so this isn't a thing for me.

Loughla
1 replies
4h43m

I'm in the US. I just had to turn down my dream job because it doesn't have health insurance benefits. The cost of insurance on your own is so ridiculous that we were around 35k apart in salary just to make up the insurance difference.

So I had to say no to it. This is life in the US.

tombert
0 replies
2h2m

Obviously don't dox yourself, but roughly where do you live? I just looked up insurance premiums for Oscar Health and it was $2,000/month for one of the budget plans, so about $24,000/year?

It can be extremely variable between cities so I'm not saying that this applies to everyone, but when I checked against my NYC zip code, that's the number it gave me.

tombert
0 replies
14h36m

Insurance is a fair point I hadn't thought of. I guess there is some link between "full time" vs "part time" and insurance in that sense.

It can depend somewhat on the job. When I was a part time adjunct last year teaching two classes (six credit hours) at a public university, I was given the option for health insurance. I don't remember what the premiums were but I remember they were lower than marketplace plans.

I assume it isn't worth being "part time" and paying for the insurance gap out of pocket. Bargaining power tends not to work that way.

Since the Affordable Care Act, the prices are somewhat more regulated and they're not really allowed to "decline" you anymore, so the "bargaining power" thing isn't as bad as it used to be. Paying out of pocket for insurance is expensive but not insurmountable for basically anyone working in tech, and certainly you can factor into an hourly rate. In NYC there's the MetroPlus system, and the cheaper plan on that is around $1250/month for two people, which equates to roughly $15,000/year [1]. An employer plan in NYC will still typically have anywhere between ~$100-$600 monthly premium for a family plan, so anywhere between $1200-$7200 per year of just premiums (not counting what you pay before reaching your deductible), depending on the company and which plan you choose within the company. The US healthcare system is needlessly complicated.

Still, it would certainly be better to not pay $15,000/year if I can avoid it, so before I try doing half-time contracting I am going to wait for my wife to start working.

[1] https://metroplus.org/plans/individual-family/marketplace/br...

didgetmaster
3 replies
14h45m

If you are really making 3x what you really need, you should be building wealth at a rapid pace. Once you are financially secure, you can stop doing unfulfilling work just because the pay is good.

I 'retired' early because I don't need to work for anyone anymore. My wife and I saved and invested so we are set financially. I still love to program so I spend my time and energy working on a project that is personally fulfilling to me even though it has yet to bring in meaningful revenues.

BTW: it is a new data management system that is designed to be a distributed system. Have you considered teaming up with someone on a side project?

tombert
2 replies
14h16m

If you are really making 3x what you really need, you should be building wealth at a rapid pace. Once you are financially secure, you can stop doing unfulfilling work just because the pay is good.

I didn't word it terribly well, so apologies for that, but for "really need" I was talking about subsistence wages in this case. I make perfectly fine money, and I do save/invest as much as I can, and I do own my house in NYC, so I do alright. I do hope to retire somewhat early, at least by American standards, but it's not like I'm making "fuck you" money.

BTW: it is a new data management system that is designed to be a distributed system. Have you considered teaming up with someone on a side project?

Outside of something I did with my dad a few months ago, not really. I have a decent job now that's not psychotic about non-competes, so I've been ramping up to build something.

tome
1 replies
9h42m

Well, I think the suggestion remains: live on subsistence income whilst working for as long as it takes to be able to live on subsistence income whilst not working. (All the while you can be attempting to effect changes that allow you to earn more than subsistence income at something you enjoy going.)

tombert
0 replies
2h9m

Yeah, I don't really disagree; I'm still trying to get out of debt from the six months I was unemployed last year (which also ate a bit into my savings, but I live kind of boring so it wasn't super bad). Hopefully that should be coming to a close pretty soon (even sooner if Gemini actually reimburses the money that they ponzi'd out of me like they claim they will). I've been trying to invest in a combo of relatively-low-risk ETFs (VOO and VTI primarily) and US Treasury Bills, to give myself a combo of potentially-higher-than-inflation-reward but also zero-risk-and-still-higher-than-bank-interest money.

Once my wife starts working, we figured that we'd put nearly 100% of her paycheck into some forms of savings to accelerate the process a bit further, since my salary has traditionally been enough to cover the bills. I'd like to have enough money to retire comfortably by my mid-to-late 40's. I think that's realistic.

2023 was one of the worst years of my life, maybe the worst. It was really horrible being laid off twice and having to spend so much time on LinkedIn and doing Zoom whiteboard interviews and waking up to dozens of rejections every morning, not to mention that being laid off twice in a year makes your resume look insanely bad (each stint being about 3 months). As a result, I think I've become more frustrated than I probably should, and grown a strong resentment towards companies, with a nearly-complete lack of optimism that they'll ever do anything even remotely actually-technical.

My current gig seems a lot better but I've learned my lesson about getting my hopes up. We'll see if it lasts more than three months.

robertn702
1 replies
21h11m

The statement "my options on who will hire me are kind of limited" is a bit misleading. Limited compared to whom? Your options are abundant compared to most people.

It sounds like you are waiting on a fantasy position that has both interesting work and pays at least the same as your current position, which you have 13 years of experience in. That's not usually how life works. There are trade-offs.

If you want to do a different type of work that you don't have any professional experience in, you are going to have to take a pay cut. As you mentioned, you're fortunate to be making 3x what you need. It's up to you whether it's worth "only" making 2x what you need in order to do work you find more engaging.

This is not a unique circumstance. People make this trade-off all the time. Maybe talk to some people who did.

tombert
0 replies
15h7m

It sounds like you are waiting on a fantasy position that has both interesting work and pays at least the same as your current position, which you have 13 years of experience in. That's not usually how life works. There are trade-offs.

I mean this with all the respect in the world, but no shit. That's what I'm frustrated about. I feel like the entire thing I wrote was specifically because I am aware of these tradeoff. Just because the tradeoffs exist doesn't mean I have to like them.

I know that my dream job doesn't really exist, at least not in numbers large enough to even bother considering, and I'm not naive enough to really think that pivoting to another career will suddenly solve all my problems and frustrations.

lanstin
1 replies
11h49m

This is your chance to decide what your values in life are. Money or fulfillment. Maybe you can alter the software job somehow to make it more fulfilling to you. An organization with a purpose or mission that you believe in. A role with different type of expectations or work. Maybe writing on the side or starting a family.

tombert
0 replies
1h49m

Yeah, I don't really disagree with that.

I think Americans are kind of trained by the propaganda machine that you need to find fulfillment from your job, but fundamentally I think you're right and I need to take things into my own hands.

I have a few ideas that I think I might be able to turn into papers, and might even be able to get them published in a real journal. I doubt that my current gig will have too much of a problem with that (they're much more in the chemistry/healthcare space than pure CS), so I might be able to have some fun with that while giving myself an excuse to use pure math.

Izkata
1 replies
14h52m

I like software and computer science, but "software engineering" barely counts as either. I expected to be utilizing a million data structures or figuring out proofs of correctness or designing the next amazing distributed system, but it feels like 2/3+ of software engineering is "add field to JSON" or "write a for loop to convert something to a different shape" or "change color of button" or "change width of page layout and then modify selenium tests", and the only data structures that ever get used are hashmaps and arrays. I spent so much time learning the minutia of CSP and TLA+ and set theory and I feel like I have basically nothing to show for it, and now I can't really even change to a career where I would get to use them.

So, around 6-7 years ago I was on a development team and was getting tired of a bunch of things - the frontend treadmill (react/redux, do it this way, no that way, then a few months later there's a new "right way"), how we kept getting new product owners and the "vision" was lost so we were just reacting to customers (and kept remaking the same pages but differently), and a slightly more personal one (no one liked my idea for one of those pages, then a few months later our designer came up with the exact same thing, no one remembered mine, and the page has been unchanged since). Our company was also drifting heavily into silos during that time, some people were frontend-only, some backend-only, where I like the whole stack and didn't want to limit myself.

So after all that I did something that surprised and confused my manager: Asked to get moved to the maintenance team instead of new development. They were intrigued because apparently that team is where new hires often ended up, and they almost never had someone experienced on it - which surprised me because I figured that job would be harder than new development. So far I've been on this team longer than any others and have yet to get tired of it. I know some of it is how good a manager we have, but the work is also very directly about fixing things. It's much more self-directed, no product owner initiated rewrites on a whim, large projects still happen when something is really bad, but because it's considered legacy there's no treadmill-chasing. And the random fixes can end up anywhere in the stack, so I get to keep using everything I'd learned from linux through the database and server to frontend, instead of sticking to a silo.

So even "5) Just live with it." does have sub-options.

tombert
0 replies
2h5m

I've debated doing that exact move as well, simply because I do enjoy making "incorrectly" designed code "correct", by either moving to a simpler model or utilizing a more tried-and-true way of doing things, and since no one wants to be in "maintenance" it might afford me some more freedom.

At a previous job, I would occasionally spend time on the weekend rewriting and simplifying code because there wasn't really a "maintenance" team and I knew the only way that it would ever get better was if I fixed myself on my own time. I've since drawn a line in the sand that I do not work for companies on weekends but I did sort of enjoy that process.

lnsru
0 replies
12h23m

I guess you’re in USA. Luckily I am in poor Germany with way lower salaries. Which opens me another option 6) go into trades. Becoming certified electrician takes a lot of time or money or both. My university degree with an expensive course was enough. Salary stays the same as long as I am self employed.

Otherwise 5) since 4) does not really work for me. Helped too many brilliant guys as an electrical engineer. Products got traction, but nothing big happened.

antihipocrat
0 replies
16h25m

There's no requirement to put qualifications or experience on the CV that aren't necessary for the role. Hiring managers make a lot of assumptions, and if specialisation is going to limit opportunity then leave it out.

pif
1 replies
9h18m

If you can learn a job in a day or a week, you can go where opportunity is.

And you will find a very crowded place, populated with all the other guys who leant the job yesterday.

I've wondered if this is part of the reason for high software salaries. When so many industries needs software,

You are describing demand and offer: nothing more, nothing less.

6gvONxR4sf7o
0 replies
2h52m

What I'm describing is friction. In a market where demand changes over time, supply friction affects efficiency. The time scale over which the market reaches equilibrium and that time scale's affect on the people providing supply is what I'm talking about.

nuancebydefault
14 replies
1d

From my experience, the number of chances you have is not the limiting factor in life. I see people making the same kind of mistakes over and over again. The problem is often the pattern of reaction to externalities. The pattern is then the problem, and it is very hard to break habits.

bckr
12 replies
22h39m

Yes! Many bad decisions—choosing the wrong partner, making bad health choices, or even getting the wrong degree, can be changed in 6-36 months, if the mistake is realized.

But the person who makes the mistake takes too long to see the mistake, and then goes about making the same mistake (or failing to make a different decision) for years after they start to question their decision. There’s the bottleneck.

That’s why I’ve invested a lot of energy into being more flexible, changing my mind readily, and learning from my mistakes very quickly.

harimau777
9 replies
15h17m

At least in relationships that's not the case. Unless you are naturally extroverted or charismatic, if you mess up and haven't figured things out by the time you are in your 30s then you may as well give up. American society just isn't built for finding love outside of school/college.

Remnant44
4 replies
12h58m

That's a pretty strong claim to make completely unsupported by evidence. In fact, I think you'll find more people than ever before are settling down in their 30s and starting families, etc.

lelanthran
3 replies
10h17m

> if you mess up and haven't figured things out by the time you are in your 30s

In fact, I think you'll find more people than ever before are settling down in their 30s and starting families, etc.

I did not interpret GP post to mean "If you haven't settled down and started a family by 30, you may as well give up".

I interpreted it more as "If you haven't made a decent sized social network, or haven't figured out how to approach strangers, or haven't been in a committed/long-term/love/etc relationship, or didn't socialise enough to develop socialisation skills, etc... THEN you may as well give up!"

I think the GP's point is that those people who are settling down in their 30s and starting families, well, they didn't mess up, and figured things out before age 30.

Maybe he'll clarify, but I agree with my interpretation: if you haven't figured out romantic relationships by age 30, you may as well give up, because post-30 it's exceedingly difficult to find an environment with lots of socialising with peers.

Almost impossible, in fact, because, as you said, most people are already out of that scene anyway...

mlrtime
1 replies
5h18m

This is a incel mindset and very toxic.

In reality this isn't black/white, but a spectrum. Some may have a harder time than others, but giving up is reductionary and depressing and leads nowhere.

lelanthran
0 replies
5h17m

This is a incel mindset and very toxic.

Is it really necessary to both slip in an insult and try to shame opposing ideas into silence before stating your point?

coolThingsFirst
0 replies
5h6m

Obviously it is in the West in tech circles where everyone is introverted and they work 14 hour days. The protestant work ethic has decimated society and all that matters.

lanstin
3 replies
11h52m

I had a dreadful marriage that ended in my forties and am now ten years into a relationship where I am so persistently happy I had to rescale my idea of happiness. Maybe by a factor of 1024 or more. I have step kids and my kids have a step mom but they all have been exposed to more happiness than before. And I finally got able to be myself and found a spouse who can talk math with me and gets me in a way I was too blind to conceptualize as a young adult.

lelanthran
1 replies
10h25m

I had to rescale my idea of happiness. Maybe by a factor of 1024 or more.

Tell me you're a programmer without telling me you're a programmer :-)

nuancebydefault
0 replies
23m

He wanted to write 10 x, but then realized a bit shift of 10 places would be a better estimate.

treis
0 replies
4h17m

This is one of those areas where money can solve your problem. It's a lot harder to rebuild if you're not making good money. Especially for those who are on the hook for alimony & child support.

lanstin
1 replies
11h55m

In my case it took a few decades to plumb utterly the idea that perfecting myself, or trying extremely hard to do so, would not make a bad relationship good. It was a hard lesson for me but I learned it in every cell of my system. Not that I am against being flexible, but some people need life to really beat that lesson into them.

nuancebydefault
0 replies
19m

Well, you did not realize that the relationship-choice-of-person itself was the problem, until that pattern got broken.

lanstin
0 replies
11h57m

Easier to identify and work around your characteristic errors. Go slow into romance, or make sure to lint and test the code, or be wary of saying yes to things you don't really care about, maybe offload some judgment calls to a trusted delegate. Whatever it is, we all have weaknesses and we can learn to work with them better. And realize when they crop up it isn't uniquely shameful to have broken bits.

mlazos
13 replies
23h59m

Nothing is better than a comeback story and I try to feel as inspired as I can every day because the truth is people have made groundbreaking discoveries in their 50s, started businesses in their 70s and completely overcome much harder obstacles than picking sciences instead of humanities? Like really that’s an example? Career changes are literally one of the easier things in life to do if you’re determined. This article is just too pessimistic for me.

danbruc
8 replies
22h38m

Nothing is better than a comeback story and I try to feel as inspired as I can every day because the truth is people have made groundbreaking discoveries in their 50s, started businesses in their 70s and completely overcome much harder obstacles than picking sciences instead of humanities?

There are of course such people, but they are for a good part the few notable exceptions you hear about. For each of those there are thousands of people that don't manage to pull it off.

lll-o-lll
6 replies
21h56m

Because the struggle is with yourself. The parent post is correct when they say:

Career changes are literally one of the easier things in life to do if you’re determined

What makes it hard is changing yourself; not externally imposed forces. The article is full of hubris in my opinion. The author looks around at the failed friends in their peer group and goes “there, but for the sake of ‘my own intelligent choices’ go I”. The start and end of their wisdom is “make prudent choices, as you reap what you sow”. Granted, but this never ends - the “second chance” may not exist in the sense of a “do over”, but at any point of life the branches flow out, and better choices can be made.

derbOac
3 replies
20h16m

I don't know. My experience is that as you get older, you're constantly evaluated against what could have been, and experiences that in youth would have been seen positively become discounted or, strangely, even held against you.

It often feels as if a second chance at a certain point in life requires more than a change in yourself; it requires an even bigger change than earlier, once over to make the real change, and twice over to convince others or overcome their biases. Either that or the luck of finding someone who understands second chances and is willing to give them.

lll-o-lll
1 replies
19h55m

The narratives change when we’re older; but I think there are still “sorting my life out”, or “taking on a new adventure”, narratives that work. And that’s all this side of things is - a story to tell yourself and others while the real work of changing habits and working consistently toward a goal occurs.

I’m not disagreeing that it’s harder than when young, or the number of options have significantly reduced. However, I do think we too often feel trapped by circumstance (when older), when much is still possible.

galaxyLogic
0 replies
13h23m

When looking for guidance for life, a good example might be Jesus. Did he make the best decisions in his life? He didn't really care about his life, he gave it away. He only cared about the well-being of others.

lanstin
0 replies
12h0m

As you get older, probably you are the one doing the evaluating and realizing you won't be a heart surgeon or discover a major math theorem (that was two from my own teenagerhood). Mostly people not you don't give it two thoughts. But whatever. Learn from your life and don't judge it. I mean sure being old is held against a lot of people but that's just some political social change you can work for a little. Other people's opinions aren't the truth and it seems hard to get a few decades in and not realize this. You can make your own chances each morning, especially to be free and to be helpful to others.

mattmanser
0 replies
3h5m

The big trouble with the article is exactly looking at their failed friends.

The peer group, ever the reserve of the lazy journalist for "facts".

Draiken
0 replies
7h1m

Career changes are literally one of the easier things in life to do if you’re determined

What nonsense. What makes it hard is everything around it. People can't choose to take a 50% pay cut to change careers. They can't let their families starve or lose their homes for it. They can't move move when they need to take care of a loved one.

This idea that changing your mind is the hard part is absolute bonkers unless you're so privileged that you don't care about the real externalities of those choices, or you don't have any.

Phrases like this one only worsen the situation, as for the majority of the world, that's simply not true. If, for you, all you have to do is change your mindset then good for you. You're very, very lucky. But please, don't assume everyone is as privileged.

art-not
0 replies
4h5m

And then there's millions more that didn't even try

Animats
1 replies
21h53m

Nothing is better than a comeback story

An interesting comment on Trump by Ukraine's army head of intelligence, Kyrylo Budanov: “There have been nine instances in his life when he went to the top, fell to the very bottom of life, and went back again.”

bdjsiqoocwk
0 replies
14h15m

When he won in 2016 i remember thinking. The campaign was so long and so intense and for all of it it seemed clear that he would lose. I remember thinking, this guy in every other respect is a despicable person, but I can't help but be impressed that he just kept going.

brailsafe
0 replies
19h44m

Anything can be relatively easy if you've either already succeeded the first time based on sheer determination and/or you've successfully done other harder things that were at least as abstract as having a successful career. This article is not about the moment you make a decision, because that's as easy as it's set up to be based on all of the previous dice rolls of your life, but about the likelihood that you'll be able to bounce back from rolling snake eyes on what seemed like a sure thing at a time when time itself was cheap.

If determination alone qualified as the criteria for succeeding in a career change, then that means whatever situation you're in already has prepared you perfectly for a marginally different path forward, or the risk involved is relatively trivial. Imo, this article isn't pessimistic enough, but it doesn't mean one can't be inspired by rare anomalies, it's just that you'd be naive to believe an arbitrary person can replicate those results merely by trying hard. It doesn't work for a primary career, and it won't work for a secondary career, there are many more factors involved.

ImHereToVote
0 replies
7h43m

Man, I wish my problems were shaped like that.

ptk921
12 replies
22h5m

A friend of mine has deep wounds around their experience of making the wrong decisions during formative (college years) they they feel has set them back in life.

Everyone around them sees their story differently: a successful career pivot into a field that they love which compensates them well. They have truly inspired many!

Yet for my friend, the story they tell themselves is that their poor decisions in college will essentially haunt them forever because they don't have the academic pedigree and work experience of their peers.

I have my own relationship with rumination, and appreciate this perspective from Michael Pollan in his book "How to Change Your Mind"

"A lot of depression is a sort of self-punishment, as even Freud understood. We get trapped in these loops of rumination that are very destructive, and the stories that we tell ourselves: you know, that we’re unworthy of love, that we can’t get through the next hour with a cigarette, whatever it is. And these deep, deep grooves of thought are very hard to get out of. They disconnect us from other people, from nature, from an earlier idea of who we are."

My advice for anyone reading this is to listen to the stories that you tell yourself. Ask yourself how you can adjust these stories to have a more empowered understanding of yourself.

galaxyLogic
4 replies
13h36m

I believe in the Myth of Second Chance and Third and so on. It is what we tell ourselves to keep going. Nothing wrong with that.

At the time you make a decision it is often impossible to know what its consequences are, so if we had made a different decision things might actually be worse.

Not making a decision in time can also have negative consequences.

bruce511
2 replies
12h26m

Hindsight living, is like hindsight investing (I should have bought Apple stock in 1999) useless.

With hindsight it's easy to cherry-pick missteps. And from those missteps fantasize a hypothetical outcome. And obviously in this alternate universe you only ever come out better.

Yes, there are pivotal moments. I've made big decisions along the way. I've made some mistakes.

But everything good in my life has come from this one path.

I make a choice to celebrate the present, not hanker after a mythical alternative. I choose to be content with the present, and contentment is the source of my happiness.

It's easy to compare my life with others, and find others richer, or more famous, or married, or unmarried. Social media amplifies this.

But it's also easy to compare to others who walked a harder path, and have a harder path in front of them. At this stage of my life its less about climbing one more rung, and more about helping those below me, smoothing their path as much as possible.

No one goes through life perfectly. Hindsight living is not helpful and contentment beats regret every day of the week.

mlrtime
0 replies
5h31m

100% correct but I think what more people should do is post-mortems on import decisions.

Too many people blame others for their current situation. Try taking a philosophy that we have more control and look back upon decisions we made and why we made them.

Not "I should have bought apple stock". but "why didn't I buy apple stock?"

braza
0 replies
4h45m

I can relate 100% to that with my own experience coming from a poor economic background and coming to a more affluent background right now where any misstep can make me goes back 10+ years of economic development.

Others placed something like "fear-based paralysis" and I get it, but when you're responsible for making that transition between poverty and minimum affluence, you start to develop a "defensive-based proneness to action" instead.

For instance, since I was quite bit ambitious to get out of my past situation, at least for me most of my decisions were made thinking in some factors like: - Do not get involved in situations where I can get murdered (doing something stupid myself or getting into other people's path that can lead me to be murdered) - Avoid any situations in which I could end up in jail - Avoid having children without any financial and societal conditions - Avoid any drugs - Avoid any error that could impact my net worth more than 5%

Living in a world of avoidance is not pleasant, most of the time, it sucks, and the feedback loop is sometimes so subtle that you need to exercise your mind to think in the future most of the time.

I have a happy life today, because I saw some of those things happen to some close friends, and there's no comeback from those. Sometimes you can find contentment in some other areas of your life, but if you have a certain level of ambition, you will never recover.

alimw
0 replies
8h32m

Nothing wrong with that.

One thing wrong with it is that the myth leads us to blame ourselves for the failure to recover as well.

brian_cunnie
3 replies
14h2m

My brother's college roommate became an actor instead of a lawyer.

Now fifty-seven, he confided, "I think I made the wrong decision."

BeetleB
1 replies
13h5m

No shortages of lawyers who think the same - way before they hit 50 :-)

usgroup
0 replies
8h14m

Yes precisely. If I had a pound for each time a dev told me they wish they were a doctor, and another pound for each time a doctor told me they wish they were something else!

lelanthran
0 replies
10h29m

My brother's college roommate became an actor instead of a lawyer.

Now fifty-seven, he confided, "I think I made the wrong decision."

Don't worry; many lawyers, at age 57, are saying the same thing!

(There are more lawyers of the Saul Goodman size of practice than the LA Law type of practice)

usgroup
0 replies
8h15m

I've many regrets similar in vein to that of your friend. Over time I've decided that it's rather reductionist to think that things connect together so simplistically. The "how my life could have been better if X, ceteris paribus" can be a really painful analysis, but -- in this case favourably -- there is no "ceteris paribus" in real lives.

techno_tsar
0 replies
12h25m

I agree. If you have two narratives about your life, and both are true, it is literally pointless to hang onto the negative one.

One's self-identity is important. The truth about what one's "narrative in life" is is not a brute property etched into the universe.

We should be pragmatic about what what thoughts we nurture.

MadcapJake
0 replies
1h52m

There's a collection of techniques in the mental health field called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that is about helping people identify and replace these negative stories. If folks are having a hard time applying these ideas themselves alone, look into this therapy as it can be good to have a therapist help you through using the technique.

npilk
12 replies
1d

It's important to recognize that life is path-dependent. But as a counter-point, worrying too much about each decision as a potential mistake can lead to the kind of fear-based paralysis described by Sylvia Plath in the Bell Jar:

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

polishdude20
8 replies
23h41m

I think a meta analysis of this is that the character in your quote should realize they themselves are inside of their own unique fig. The reason the others have withered is because she's chosen a fig. In real life, it seems that what usually happens is people don't realize they are heading for a fig that's not that bad all the while staring at all the others imagining how their life might be. Basically, be more grateful for what you have now.

card_zero
6 replies
22h41m

"Never try"

— H. Simpson

In all the heartwarming animes I watch it goes like this: the main character has an absurd, unrealistic aspiration with a strong emotional motivation for it. She makes a lot of desperate and ridiculous efforts to get somewhere, and as a sort of karmic reward she gets somewhere else, not exactly what she intended, but a situation with a lot of fun and friendship and purpose develops, and it turns out that this is now what she wants and it serves the original emotional purpose just the same. However, the initial foolish aspiration was crucial or nothing would have happened.

jajko
2 replies
12h15m

Apart from that intial quote which to me sounds like road to absolute passiveness, thats my life so far.

Never had clear goal and wasnt given any, and I've massively surpassed anything anybody ever expected from me when growing up. But I largely let the flow of life take me as it went, and only in those few crucial moments when you are branching all your future life I went the harder but more interesting way and persisted despite hardships as long as it still made sense. Reasonable hardships are great, they often give back much more than initial costs, in many ways. And walking it alone without any external help is also sort of reward multiplier.

I am in a place in life in early 40s where I have nothing more to achieve or prove, just keeping the direction now is enough to be dying happy about life well lived.

Of course the last thing you wanna do in such place is to think you have it all set and figured out, life has nasty ways to remind you of the chaos just behind many corners.

pbronez
0 replies
6h12m

I feel similarly. Pick the most interesting opportunity you’re aware of, seasoned with some realism. Excel to the best of your ability. Continuously increase your abilities. Leave everything better than you found it; but don’t exhaust yourself needlessly. Leverage the advantages you have and don’t mourn the ones you don’t.

isaacfrond
0 replies
10h39m

Life has no way. It can't remind you of anything.

the_real_cher
1 replies
15h17m

That's also on Charles Bukowskis tombstone.

isaacfrond
0 replies
10h40m

Close enough. It's "Don't try"

brabel
0 replies
11h36m

That's a great approach to this issue. I believe this is exactly what happened to me, and to most people who are not "lucky" in having all the necessary conditions for their original "dream" to be realized. Anyway, the older I get, the more I believe there's no way a person can just have "one" dream the want to pursue their whole life, what you really want keeps changing every decade or less. I still remember what my dream was when I was 12 years old or 20, and I can tell you with confidence I am happy I ended up in a different place 30 years later.

simmerup
0 replies
22h28m

Sylvia Plath ended up committing suicide is good context here

imtringued
0 replies
12h1m

Liquidity preference is one hell of a drug.

Shinchy
0 replies
9h16m

That's a great analogy, I'm now going to have to read this book.

didgetmaster
7 replies
14h59m

The myth is that that there is one optimal path through life that will make you happy and that any deviation from it will cause you to lose that happiness. While mistakes might take you down a path that you didn't anticipate and you might regret it for some time; they might also have opened up doors that would never have presented themselves.

We all wish we could go back and fix a mistake or two; but we often don't realize that doing so might unravel many other positive events. Everyone has regrets, but we don't get to see what would have happened if we had made a different decision at every turn.

galaxyLogic
3 replies
13h30m

Right, rumination is bad serves no useful purpose. It is good to analyze our previous mistakes but we should not lament our previous behavior because we cannot change it anyhow. We can only try to be better next time.

The English folk-rock band Incredible String Band has a great song where they sing "Happy man, the happy man, doing the best he can the best he can".

imtringued
2 replies
11h54m

Rumination and depression evolved to help humans survive. They aren't useless.

easyThrowaway
0 replies
10h18m

Maybe they helped humanity but sure they ain't helping me now. I think of them the same we "evolved" wisdom teeth and appendicitis.

andoando
0 replies
1h25m

Very untrue. Evolution didnt evolve depression, just as evolution didnt evolve every other disease or defect. These are byproducts of convulated systems.

draven
1 replies
10h33m

That's exactly my thought reading the piece: it talks about "errors", "mistakes", "irrecoverable damage" where everything could be viewed as "non-optimal choices." And they are judged with the benefit of hindsight, because they could have been the most logical choices with the information available at the time.

Past events can't be changed, and we are not the person who made the decision at the time anymore.

bombdailer
0 replies
9h42m

I look at it as the impossibility of having regret once you understand that every decision you made in the past was the best decision you could have made. Which is to say you were some specific person, with a particular ego and relation to self and to world. Any decision made was being made withing some particular frame of mind - mood, energy, memories, as well as their relevance and salience mappings.

Making a decision while angry? If one has not the capacity to see through anger when making a decision - a lack of mindfulness perhaps, then that decision even when made in anger is the best they could do at that point. If one practices mindfulness and can often deal with anger but fails this time, that is still the best that person could do given who they are when a decision is being made. There is nobody to blame.

Even perceived self-sabotage is still acting within some particular framing. If that person Knew something different about the nature of their being at a perspective and participatory level, they likely would have made different more constructive choices.

Everything emerges exactly as it should due to what is Known and is at any particular time. The nature of self being a lifelong quest to understand, the more we understand about it the better the decision we can make. Probably explains the importance of 'Know thyself' to Socrates. But there is never a wrong choice as you say, only non-optimal. Only that which was made due to you having not been some particular other potential version of you.

Learning makes change possible. Not all learning is good for you. You never know you're learning as you're doing it - for if you're self aware you aren't paying attention as so can't learn, but if you are paying attention you're not aware about "learning". Thus we should pay attention to what is good and trust that we are learning. And trust that we are also learning when we pay attention to what is bad for us.

pascalcrysis
0 replies
10h57m

Yeah, I'm wondering what is the actual point of the article, and you're touching on where I'm coming from. It's very retrospective, and gives very little time to forethought. Yet the author establishes that they see peers step into life decisions with relatable distress, or indoctrinated softness, people facing the future, but doesn't explore much beyond that. See, to me, this is grasping for an answer, where next step is "and how many of those people who took the step casually or overtly seriously had that have an equivalent impact on their life?"

And I would even take it as a mistake being done here to claim a stake. Being that, they can only ever source the answer from the same place Senator Armstrong does everything in his life. How CAN you solve the problem of finding your best life, how CAN you say you were more mindful and therefore, got rewarded? How CAN anyone say be more like this?

You can't poll for it, people are very often bad a either introspection or at retrospectives, and more than anything - they don't actually know. They will biasedly speak positively of bad experiences and rash decisions that benefited them and vice-versa. Few will have the maturity to turn and say they were glad to have met toxic person or workplace or that it helped them overall despite taking away 30 years of their life. And that's still their prerogative opinion. Opinions are nice and all, but not the answer we seek. We seek the actual, real impact, that mindfulness has on life paths. The state of mind in the moment. It is unknowable. And often, whoever discredits the notion, is suspiciously also handing out brochures.

I don't see eye to eye with the article. Feels like a sermon by someone who doesn't actually peer much beyond any veil. They're just judging people, on the hardest game there is. I play competitive team based games, but I never play ranked. It's full of awful people with lots to say of others.

walterburns
3 replies
13h30m

Ay, that's the spirit, lad.

To borrow a phrase from the book Switch, "true but useless".

And only technically true. Of course there are no actual second chances. Time only moves forward. But the implication - and it's only implied - that you're doomed to unhappiness in a cage of past life choices is defeatist, pusillanimous bunk.

As John Lennon said, "I just had to let it go". That takes more courage the older you get. But anyone that tells you that it's hopeless because you majored in accounting instead of art should be escorted quickly and quietly away from anyone impressionable, and then kept away from sharp objects for their own safety.

Pull yourself together!

Or, to quote the Terry Gilliam movie Baron Munchausen, "Open the gates!"

tpdly
1 replies
12h34m

There is a retrospective and a prospective reading of this advice. I agree with your take when this advice is applied retrospectively, but I find it downright sobering when thinking about my future. I am in the process of making some big decisions, and perhaps I have been a bit to casual about them.

IggleSniggle
0 replies
1h39m

Perhaps, or perhaps you merely let the entirety of your brain make the decision, and more optimally so for your circumstances, instead of the limited executive function. Maybe. Or maybe that was just the lizard brain. Really hard for the executive brain to discern between the "all of my brain / know it in the gut / good instincts" and the "lizard brain want"

ezekiel68
0 replies
47m

This simply cannot be overstated: to be paralyzed into inaction is nonetheless yet another action. The curse of choice is common to us all. To quote my mentor (and the actual fatherly mentor of Tony Robbins) Jim Rohn: "To wish it away is to wish your life away."

majormajor
3 replies
17h22m

"Many people are miserable and accepting of it" does not disprove that you can, in fact, make career moves after 30, or study the humanities you ignored in undergrad at a later point. Many people are fragile; does that mean that you shouldn't try to be resilient?

You might never get end up with the life you wanted when you were 15, but few people do. Does "getting exactly what you wanted when you were young and then never being challenged/learning/changing" sound like the recipe for a happy life well lived?

Most of us do make decisions that aren't exactly resounding successes. Most of us have regrets. So it's "be unhappy about the regret and dwell on it while staying where you are" or "try to move on and change things to make you pay less attention to it."

jncfhnb
2 replies
16h52m

You might never get end up with the life you wanted when you were 15, but few people do. Does "getting exactly what you wanted when you were young and then never being challenged/learning/changing" sound like the recipe for a happy life well lived?

Easily yes

lanstin
1 replies
11h38m

Not for me. I like new things.

jncfhnb
0 replies
8h3m

Your ideal life at 15 probably included novelty

aetherson
3 replies
15h40m

For almost all of us, the truth is that life could have been better -- there are mistakes that can not be wholly erased or undone -- but life could also be much worse. And you'll be a lot happier if you don't hyper focus on regretting your mistakes.

bee_rider
1 replies
15h12m

Life probably could have been much better for all of us, but also the life we’re imaging that might be much better benefits greatly from being untarnished by reality.

datascienced
0 replies
11h18m

#00F grass!

lanstin
0 replies
12h11m

If you count the mistakes as educational then how can you regret them. They were your mistakes going from where you were to where you are, this one unique and fascinating life.

Barrin92
3 replies
23h46m

I think this is quite terrible advice because our (Western) culture is already way too biased towards quarter and mid-life crises, ageism and fatalism when there is objectively little reason to panic.

One conversation I had that had extreme influence on me was working with an old software developer from China who had seen the cultural revolution as a kid, had family sent to farm labor, his parents had their company taken from him, he lost his own companies twice during reforms of the 80s and 90s and had his life turned over like half a dozen times in ways that where I grew up nobody had ever experienced once. He had to completely start from scratch when he was in his early 50s.

So when someone aged 28 at work was having a mental breakdown over their wrong phd specialization the guy always just laughed and said, you're younger than 45, you can start over, what's the problem?

The article is right that life is path dependent, in the sense that if you went to war and lost both arms you have a problem, but no, what obscure degree choice you made has not in any serious way taken real agency away. That is just our bizarre and neurotic culture. At least for most people their own perception of their history weighs them down significantly more than what is in reality genuinely the case.

jncfhnb
0 replies
16h47m

The problem is people want to enjoy their lives and starting over means forfeiting many years of that life, as well as potentially closing doors they wanted to leverage. People often put their lives on complete hold for a phd. Discovering that was a waste is awful.

grobgambit
0 replies
23h11m

Totally agree. This article is just terrible.

We love to romanticize the path not taken too. If I look at the mistakes I have made in my life, if I could go back and change them I would still just end up making different mistakes on a different path.

Some of those alternate paths would have been a dead end too, literally. We take the value of the path that was chosen is one that means you are alive to read this on 4/28/24 completely for granted.

card_zero
0 replies
22h22m

There's Orwell's essay Such, Such Were the Joys, where a horrible ordeal of preparation, in a preparatory school, for a scholarship and a successful future in Edwardian society, is completely nullified by coinciding with the First World War and the nature of society changing.

xandrius
2 replies
1d

I mean if you're 30 and (taking from the article) married badly, chose sciences instead of humanities or did a misjudgement, you absolutely definitely can fix it up. Even at 40, it just gets harder and people don't always find the supposed effort worth it but you totally can.

lanstin
1 replies
11h39m

I am in my fifties and taking a masters degree mostly for fun while keeping my software engineering job. I am working a lot harder than I have in a long time, specifically in an intense super hard homework due in 8 hours crank it out way. I do learn a lot of complicated stuff at work, but mostly can optimize for well rested and ready to learn and don't use it till I am confident kind of mode. Kids and work was hard but for different reasons. But when I forget my age and just dig in, I do feel younger. But also I am way more mature and able to talk to professors with less fear and like send that email asking stupid question or let people know ahead if I will have logistic problems etc. Best of both worlds except so much hard work.

xandrius
0 replies
10h50m

Well done! I've studied with people in their 60s who decided they wanted to expand their knowledge or change domain, very inspiring.

Recently, I also decided to improve my knowledge and went on doing 2 more masters in UX/UI and design, as I felt I was lacking those "softer" skills. I was surrounded by 20 year olds but it didn't matter and by the end I feel this choice was as natural as any other I took before.

I'm not in my 50s yet but I still hope I will do like you did :D

(although I'm quite done with writing papers/theses, so maybe not yet another master :P)

thread_id
2 replies
12h19m

"If" by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

datascienced
0 replies
11h20m

You can be all that, and still be good or be evil. Maybe that is the point!

Cacti
0 replies
9h20m

Honestly I don’t get the appeal. It reads like something one would write in the middle of puberty and then throw away when you’re a few years older and embarrassed.

renewiltord
2 replies
13h19m

That seems true. You can't repair everything. Perhaps recognizing when you're at an inflection point in the curve is a skill. Some of us just happen upon these. Others recognize them.

Speaking of football, Messi is renowned for not running all the time. He strikes at crucial moments, accelerating out, one touch to move away, a dribble past the next, a fantastic shot. There are others who run more miles than him per game, even in his role.

An interesting parallel. I credit luck with my chances. My wife and I got close after I was nearly killed in a motorcycle accident. I found the job that made my career because a friend sent me the link the day I smashed my knee in a skateboarding accident and couldn't move. I moved to America because a friend was going and urged me to move with him. My wife and I have a genetic condition and embryo sequencing arrives just as we decide to have children. Many second chances after I'd first made another choice.

There's only the world and you. You can only constraint solve within the constraints and there's not much to be done about that. A one-legged man will not run the 100m at the Olympics.

Internet forums are littered with those who claim they are that man and the one who wins gold at 100m is just naturally gifted. But I know many strivers and while some would be considered failures, far fewer are than the ones who do not try at anything since they've got the one leg.

The other man always has an extra leg. The other man always has the sharper eye. The other man always has the more handsome face.

Perhaps this is natural. Cells know when they're failures. Perhaps people do too. Perhaps that is adaptive of species.

The reason why so many failures lead to success is that only those who strive fail. And you must strive to succeed. Those who do not try at all do not fail and do not succeed. That's okay. We form the infrastructure of the species.

tome
1 replies
9h44m

I love this comment. Do you have a blog or other published writing?

renewiltord
0 replies
3h33m

Very kind of you. Blog is sadly on another identity. And if I'm being honest, quality is highly variable.

rayiner
2 replies
7h36m

But life is path-depend­ent: each mis­take nar­rows the next round of choices. A big one, or just an early one, can fore­close all hope of the life you wanted.

“The life you wanted” is an odd notion that I think is responsible for a great deal of misery. Throughout human history, people had pretty much only one kind of life. Nearly everyone in a community didn’t same thing to survive so they could reproduce, and then they died. I feel like people would be a lot happier if they accepted that this is the human experience, not wanting and achieving a particular kind of life.

circlefavshape
0 replies
5h33m

Came here to say the same thing. Everyone says "don't compare yourself to others", but comparing your life to an imaginary one you dreamed up in your head generates pointless misery too

chasd00
0 replies
23m

Most who write articles like this don't even know the life they want much less a feasible way to get there. All they really know is the life they have is the life they don't want. When you think like that then every decision you ever made is viewed as a mistake because they all led you to where you are.

p1dda
2 replies
10h36m

Dr. Phil has a great speech about starting new late in life, I highly recommend it.

lelanthran
1 replies
10h27m

If you have a link, maybe.

I'm a little biased against the Dr Phil type of advice because, from what little I heard from him, it isn't really good advice.

But, I'm open to changing my mind based on a video from a trusted source, like a fellow HN reader :-)

ogou
2 replies
9h31m

This kind of pessimism seems to come when people want to justify surrender. Why bother trying another path if there are no second chances, right? Now in middle age, I have found the 100s of small choices we make to be just as important as any of the big ones. Sometimes these are more important. I have seen it in my peers as well. People who choice the same path had different outcomes from all the small choices they made along the way. It's easy to attribute luck or privilege, but perseverance is a crucial factor in most success.

In the other extreme, it makes me think of the generations that have grown up with respawn video games. When you die you just respawn. Those games are ONLY second chances. It's rare that anyone plays any game all the way through on the first life they're given. If you grow up immersed in worlds without consequences it can paralyze your decision making in real life. Not always, but I have seen some people retreat into these kinds of worlds and not want IRL decisions.

pif
1 replies
9h23m

It's easy to attribute luck or privilege, but perseverance is a crucial factor in most success.

You need luck, or privilege, for your perseverance to bear fruit.

You need both! I'm stunned by how many people cannot grasp this simple concept. Typically, people who have luck tend not to notice it, and attribute everything to their merit. At the opposite, people who didn't get their fair share of luck, tend to ignore the effort part and paint all successful people as lucky slackers.

ogou
0 replies
8h35m

I disagree with that completely. You are arguing for a surrender of personal power and self-determination. It's a short journey between 'luck' as a concept and fate, magic, religion, or just random occurrence. If that's really your belief, then why try anything? I don't live like that. I have been able to succeed on merit or work and despite negative environments. Many, many others have as well, throughout human history.

gumby
2 replies
23h53m

In the nov­els of Ian McE­wan, a pat­tern recurs. The main char­ac­ter makes a mis­take — just one — which then hangs over them forever. ... This plot trick is said to be unbe­com­ing of a ser­i­ous artist.

Hmm, yet Thomas Hardy is (correctly IMHO) is considered a great artist worthy of having novels like The Mayor of Casterbridge included in the canon.

richk449
1 replies
22h56m

What about Jonathon Franzen?

gumby
0 replies
20h56m

You have to be dead for a while to be part of the canon. Until then you’re a “popular writer” at best.

It’s the opposite of the Nobels in this regard.

layer8
0 replies
1d

It’s amusing that it got a second chance.

flappyeagle
0 replies
1d

It was flagged for some reason?

skybrian
1 replies
21h34m

There's a second "myth" that you could have recognized it was the wrong decision at the time. And that's not always true either.

imtringued
0 replies
11h42m

Neoclassical economics is not only built around that idea, you also have the ability to predict the behaviour of others accurately.

If you don't have those two things, then it doesn't work.

qgin
1 replies
8h38m

Hacker News is in love with this genre of “everything is so much more serious and terrible than you think” and I’m not sure exactly why.

0dayz
0 replies
8h33m

I would imagine it comes from the programmer culture, in that you have to take everything as if life depends on it.

At least compared to most "manual" labor such as electrician, you can be a lot more chill and only focus on what you have to learn and nothing more if you want.

mooreds
1 replies
23h9m

That was a beautiful summation of path dependence.

I remember another comment on HN where someone talked about their 50s and looking through the rear view mirror wistfully.

It's not like you can do nothing when you get older, it's more like you know you can't do everything.

foobar1962
0 replies
14h39m

You reach an age when life becomes a (text) adventure game: you wake up in a field next to a mailbox with a letter in it, and on the ground is a bag with items some of which are useful now, some that may be useful later, and others that are not useful at all.

It may or may not be your beautiful house and your beautiful wife (if I may mix the metaphors a moment) but it's all you have. The challenge is working out what to do with what you have within the limitations of the game, which can involve challenging your idea of what the limitations of the game are...

jowdones
1 replies
1d

Well, in the "advice-indus­trial com­plex" as the OP correctly identifies it, the OP being in the advice business (sort of) himself, has two choices: join the inflationary 'self-help, you can do it' camp and have a hard time getting himself remarked from the crowd, or join the tried and true 'contrarian' camp, yielding much better results for a minority who wants to hear and feel 'different'.

Truth is that there's no one true way. Statistically there will be people who get second chances and people who don't. My guess is that the latter crwod gets even more bitter and depressed hearing all "it will get better, you will overcome the hurdles".

sandspar
0 replies
23h33m

I genuinely think it's neat how all of our impulses have been commoditized. People want to feel "different"? Great, there's ways to make money from that. Money is such a spur for creativity.

jcalx
1 replies
4h44m

As a counterpoint, see The Trouble With Optionality [1] as a critique of keeping your options open to forestall a single "decisive mistake":

This emphasis on creating optionality can backfire in surprising ways. Instead of enabling young people to take on risks and make choices, acquiring options becomes habitual. You can never create enough option value—and the longer you spend acquiring options, the harder it is to stop.

The Yale undergraduate goes to work at McKinsey for two years, then comes to Harvard Business School, then graduates and goes to work Goldman Sachs and leaves after several years to work at Blackstone. Optionality abounds!

This individual has merely acquired stamps of approval and has acquired safety net upon safety net. These safety nets don’t end up enabling big risk-taking—individuals just become habitual acquirers of safety nets. The comfort of a high-paying job at a prestigious firm surrounded by smart people is simply too much to give up. When that happens, the dreams that those options were meant to enable slowly recede into the background. For a few, those destinations are in fact their dreams come true—but for every one of those, there are ten entrepreneurs, artists, and restaurateurs that get trapped in those institutions.

[1] https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2017/5/25/desai-commencem...

mattgreenrocks
0 replies
3h59m

Thanks for link, great insights here.

gexla
1 replies
8h34m

The trouble with this viewpoint lies in the "all hope of the life you wanted" part. To enter into this game is the start of the losing outcome. As the saying goes, the only way not to lose the game, is not to play it at all. If you don't want to lose at football, then don't play football. It's a stupid sport.

What you do instead is simply follow what excites you in the moment as reality unfolds, with no attachment to outcome. The more you're attached to an illusion, the more turmoil you'll experience as the illusion fades. It's saddening that the observer fixates on this fading thing, but doesn't notice that new things are appearing which are even more brilliant.

Pick a direction which seems interesting, and get moving. Know that whatever idea you have as to what will happen is only useful as a rough guide which you'll throw out. It's the plan Mike Tyson into the ring with, and throws it out when he gets punched in the face.

A powerful tool is realizing that you manifest your patterns and that you can change. You do this by being sensitive to how you feel in response to that which happens around you, and then make changes for better feeling and results. I'll call this "reaching alignment." You get into that state, and you're unstoppable.

resource_waste
0 replies
4h45m

Trying to classify this philosophy:

Taoism with a dash of Existentialism?

Anyway, I find all this stuff turns out to be 'crap' when you are in physical pain or really had something bad (PTSD) happen to you. Maybe when the pain is too high, I decided to stop being a helpless Stoic and started focusing on solving my own pains.

alexpotato
1 replies
6h47m

I can't find the original of this story but it goes something like this:

- Father was a lawyer

- Aged early 40s: is married, has kids, successful career as a lawyer

- Quits law to go to medical school

- Becomes successful pediatrician

- Loves it

I will always remember the quote from the son (who is telling the story):

"At age 12 I remember thinking: this is a little strange. Now that I'm in my late 30s with kids, I realize how absolutely wild my dad's decision was. Anyway, here is a picture with him and one of his pediatric patients" (cue picture of dad with a big smile on his face holding a baby).

tim333
0 replies
6h40m

I guess once you've sorted the wife, kids and career then trying something else is relatively low risk. He could always have gone back to lawyering if it didn't work out.

I've got a friend a bit like that - husband kids successful law career but quit because she hates being a lawyer. It allowed her to go from poor to wealthy though so served its purpose.

alexcpn
1 replies
8h46m

This sounds so true yet false. For absolutely every successful life there is a trail of failed lives left behind and restarted. And I dont mean like movie star or Nobel prize success; just plain vanilla happy and almost boring life. It is a real cliche, but it is true; never ever give up easily. That means that you may need to admit and give up things that never would have worked out, but hold on to things that may; and to know the difference is impossible; you have to trust in your principles; the right principles may extract a terrible initial cost but lead to great happiness in the end. Amen (And you can get Principles here - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34536488-principles )

resource_waste
0 replies
4h44m

Buddy if I drop my life right now, my 6 kids lose their 200k/yr income.

Some decisions you make are permanent.

I suppose I could reject conventional morality and just bail lol. I'm not sure you really want to promote a society like such.

ChrisMarshallNY
1 replies
1d

Well, it depends on what is meant, by "second chance."

If it is a complete reversion to the path that would have been followed, then it likely won't happen.

However, I have been privileged to spend the last 43 years, watching second chances become realities, where the second chance turns into something that far surpasses the original vector.

purpleteam81
0 replies
13h17m

"If it is a complete reversion to the path"

Great catch as chance is an inclusive term. Therefore, when seeking a second chance one should consider what aspect(s) of the path should change to succeed.

w10-1
0 replies
50m

In Shogun, the titular lord chastises his son for still "playing the game of friends and enemies".

What if we just stop telling stories, negative or positive?

Then perhaps less commenting on commenters commenting on authors writing stories?

vjk800
0 replies
11h43m

This, I think is why all (most) old people are conservative while young people tend to be more liberal (both in politics and in personal life). If you know that a single mistake can ruin everything, you focus on not doing that mistake over anything else. And the only way to do that with limited information of the world is to just keep everything running the same way it's always been running.

I've gone from being a capitalist libertarian to being some sort of a self-defined eco hippie because of this. I realized that the capital fueled "progress" changes things a lot and we can't guarantee that all those changes are good (even if we now think they are, we might later find out they weren't). On the other hand, when you change the ecosystem or the planet, it's changed for good and there's no going back. Therefore it's best not to meddle with shit we don't understand. Stop building new stuff, stop making new roads, stop destroying things to make them "better".

usgroup
0 replies
8h19m

In some sense life is obviously path dependent, since everything you've done is at least dependent on what didn't happen to you.

In another sense, there are many paths which lead to similar things, and path dependency can be Markovian, wherein the whole path doesn't matter in the first place, just the last bit.

twic
0 replies
4h3m

There is a novel in the form of a Choose Your Own Adventure book called Life's Lottery, by Kim Newman [1]. It follows a character from birth to adulthood, with the reader constantly making decisions which will shape his life. Things can go well, or (very) badly. I'm not sure if the chapters form a tree or a more general DAG, but i do know that the book splits into two completely separate sets of outcomes according to your very first choice, which is, at age, six whether your favourite character in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is Napoleon Solo or Ilya Kuryakin.

[1] https://safe.menlosecurity.com/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki...

thebaine
0 replies
3h59m

Is the glass half-full or half-empty? How you answer that question may very well shape how you view the pivotal moments of your youth.

switch007
0 replies
22h1m

I also find people mostly unable to move beyond their initial judgement. First impressions seriously, seriously matter.

salmonfamine
0 replies
3h51m

A melancholic and romantic but ultimately useless perspective.

It is impossible to know, with certainty, if any decision is the best one because we only live one life. We can make educated guesses about our "what if's" but we'll never know. And furthermore, you have to accept that the road not taken will also have disadvantages and trade-offs that you could not have anticipated at the time.

There are some decisions that you can be pretty sure are big mistakes. And some of these are irreversible. And we are all running out of time.

But generally speaking, I tend to agree with the Proustian perspective -- the "big moments," generally speaking, are the product of a lot of little moments and decisions. Spouses don't suddenly decide to cheat one day, careers aren't made by one or two wrong moves. Rather, I think we only remember the moments in which all of our little decisions culminate into one event -- precisely because it is memorable.

You have to learn to love your fate. There are so many branching permutations of quantum lives that it's impossible to ever know if you chose the "best" one.

rukuu001
0 replies
16h47m

Can't believe the question of free will hasn't popped up yet.

rapatel0
0 replies
4h15m

The writer is 42. As someone approching to that age in a few years, these are standard "mid-life crisis" thoughts. I get them when I feel like shit.

Bottomline:

- These thoughts don't serve you

- You have more effective/productive years ahead of you then before

Figure out what you want, and grind at it. The rest is noise.

Speaking of which...

purpleteam81
0 replies
13h9m

Some times the second chance succeeds because you rely on the expertise of someone else rather than your own.

When Durian became available locally, I purchased the smallest fruit available. I used it as part of my smoothie. Yes, it was pungent while at the same time a very light and pleasing fragrant aroma.

I didn't purchase it again as I needed more understanding of flavor melding. However, I enjoyed the puff pastry filled with Durian a few years later while visiting China and only tasted the fragrant aroma.

pineaux
0 replies
11h50m

One of the problems of this article is that although many of these things are true, a lot of times you must play the cards you're dealt, cause not playing will be even worse. Its like in poker where you are playing one on one against a player with a substantially bigger stack and the blinds are just eating you up. In such situations, waiting for a better hand is a bad decision in many cases. Then when you lose because you bluffed and lost, you will blame yourself for this mistake, but actually it could just be the best chance you had. 6 more blinds would have destroyed you anyway. You thought you had a good enough hand and played it. You lost, but you still made the best decision. Life is like that. Another example: you are a 37 year oldwoman and you feel your fertility slip away. You take a man and make some children. The man turns out to be an idiot... Your lifes dreams destroyed by an asshole man and your childrens needs. But maybe this was the best you could do... Maybe not taking that choice at that moment would have left you childless and maybe you would have been very sad about that. Regretting not taking the chances. I know quite a few people that waited for the best partner to have children, but never had them. Now old, they feel it is their greatest regret.

pimlottc
0 replies
23h39m

There's merit to this but it's not the advice that most people need. Most of us already worry too much about making mistakes and need to know that course correction, at least to some degree, is almost always possible.

For those who always decisions rashly, this might be useful, but I would expect they are the minority group.

ngvrnd
0 replies
1h40m

While I think it is true that mistakes cannot be undone, it's also the case that most mistakes (even fairly bad ones) are not a sentence of doom. There are still choices to be made in the future (if you think there are choices) and you can always take the stoic route which is imo quite useful regardless of the question of free will.

metalspoon
0 replies
14h17m

Even the decision to go down a sci­ence track at school, when the human­it­ies turn out to be your bag, can mangle a life.

Dear Author, you seem not to know the concept of trying (harder). As you stop trying at the first mistake, of course you didn't get a second chance.

luxuryballs
0 replies
16h10m

…the vast inter­na­tional appeal of foot­ball. “It’s the only sport which is usu­ally decided by one goal,” he the­or­ised, “so the pres­sure on the moment is more intense in foot­ball than any other sport.”

Ice hockey has entered the chat!

lo_zamoyski
0 replies
3h30m

It is obvious that you cannot undo the past.

It is also obvious that time flows in one direction, that you cannot recover time you have spent on one thing over another.

It is likewise obvious, though strangely difficult for people, especially the young, to grasp, that time spent waffling in FOMO-land is time totally wasted grasping in vain at everything, never attaining anything. "Decision" comes from the Latin "decidere", itself from "de" and "caedere", meaning to "cut off" [0]. Yes, to decide is to cut off, to give up options for the sake of the higher good, in order to proceed.

And lastly, it is equally obvious that obsessing over a past that we imagine that could have been is also a complete waste of time. The clock is ticking, time is running out, and instead of focusing on what can be done now, what can be done with the time left, how to make the best of where you are and what is possible and prudent, you blow away whatever time remains all the more.

Now, if one has indeed made mistakes, the last thing one should do is deny that one has. Denial is opposed to integrity and renders a person impotent, stagnant, and numb, with the worm of guilt gnawing at the soul. Admit it, and if necessary, make reparations, do your penance, obtain absolution. Then move on. Life does not stand still for anyone. Salvage from the wreckage what is good, and go foward. No one said you will be able to recover the life you lost, or thought you lost. Actions are not unitary operations. They have no inverse. Life is an append-only log, a directed acyclic graph. Persisting in attachments to what was ostensibly lost blinds you to what you should do next. Move on. Keep tilling the land for the harvest. Dismiss whatever draws you away and weakens your commitment to the objective good.

[0] https://www.etymonline.com/word/decision#etymonline_v_857

lanstin
0 replies
12h5m

This viewpoint seems a bit fear based or conservative to me. I wouldn't be shocked if the author wants a high degree of wealth as well. I guess that is a defensible approach but there is another approach of trusting the process, learn from your experience (and the experience of others if you can) and bring a perspective that most experiences have a positive aspect that you can focus on. Why be afraid, you die either way. Life isn't a zero sum game where if you get divorced or don't become a famous person or a really rich person it has no interest. Everyone has interesting experiences and the chance to learn and form connections and help out and find meaning strewn all over. And even the wrong career will give you skills and perspectives that you find yourself drawing on when you get the perfect career. Even if only to deeply appreciate the perfection, that is worth a lot of lifetime savings.

kazinator
0 replies
13h54m

The sur­prise of middle age, and the ter­ror of it, is how much of a per­son’s fate can boil down to one mis­judge­ment.

I don't think that's it. The misjudgment is invariably going to be just a sample in a pattern of similar such misjudgments.

justanotherjoe
0 replies
10h22m

No. I disagree with the sentiment strongly. I've seen so many of my friends alone turn their life around from bad choices. Truth is, this article is most likely just attribution bias. Life is rich enough to allow for manueverability. And for the record i hate everything that makes life seems a more hostile place. I take it my personal responsibility to have the opposite effect to people.

julienchastang
0 replies
23h52m

Robert Frost's, often misinterpreted [0], “The Road Not Taken” also comes to mind here.

"In many ways, the poem becomes about how—through retroactive narrative—the poet turns something as irrational as an “impulse” into a triumphant, intentional decision. Decisions are nobler than whims, and this reframing is comforting, too, for the way it suggests that a life unfolds through conscious design. However, as the poem reveals, that design arises out of constructed narratives, not dramatic actions."

[0] https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/89511/robert-frost...

javajosh
0 replies
15h7m

There are some in the "advice-instrustial complex" that give such advice. The Stoics have a technique where you imagine losing all you have, and this creates a feeling of gratitude for what you do have, and prepares you for losing it (as we all must do, in time). The Buddhists say that "Life is suffering".

But yes, this notion that your life is a one-shot, and you may very well outlive the potential for your life to achieve what you wanted, or thought it might, is not common advice. At times mean-spirited people will say that so-and-so celebrity is "over the hill" or "past their prime", but of course this applies (in a good faith way) to us all at some point. When the barb is targeted at someone who's earned a lot and is no longer earning it is less painful and socially acceptable than when targeted at someone who never knew success at all.

Nature is interesting because She seems to play around with lifetime duration quite a lot. Most life is very short lived; they are one-shots. But it doesn't matter because there are so many. But the few, the long-lived, the lives with so many resources behind them, She plays with these too. And honestly it's not clear that they are so successful. They tend to exist at the top of a food chain and accumulate damage over time, requiring sophisticated repair mechanisms. Such creatures are also more sensitive to environmental issues, accumulating poisons much faster than those before them in the food chain. Humans exist in this sensitive, precarious place in the ecosystem and I think we often outlive our usefulness, as evidenced by pre-industrial poor-houses stocked mostly by the old and infirm.

hoc
0 replies
14h54m

Decision tree vs. Turing machine

Variation in overall size, branch angle/length/node distance influence the resulting number of possible steps, as well a the limited run time and state complexity does. This also lets "fail often, fail early" look like that simple approach for a massive wide step zig zag approach to life; only if assuming no life-relevant costs per step, that is.

Still, a state machine with loops allows for second chances in general, while the underlying environment also changes in parallel. So your outlook for the second try might as well be better.

To describe a backwards directed re-play, a decision tree might be a tempting structure. But just because the "truth" is too complex to describe and not visible to you in its entirety anyway.

Don't get discouraged by these kind of undercomplex views on life. There's still lot of environmental problems/limitations to be solved, to make everybody's run a bit smoother and less dependend on their environment, though, even though, or because, all the runs and the environment are basically the same thing.

helloplanets
0 replies
10h52m

Even the decision to go down a sci­ence track at school, when the human­it­ies turn out to be your bag, can mangle a life.

'Mangling a life' is shooting way over the top.

Is having to deal with going down a school track that didn't turn out to be your bag what you can justify calling a mangled life? Isn't that just what we call life? The issue is that we'll almost always be able to find issues in our decisions in hindsight, if we really look for them. Even a ten million dollar exit can feel like a failure if you were shooting for a hundred.

If we forego using bombastic words for things that they shouldn't be applied to, the hollowness of the premise is revealed, and the illusion crumbles:

Even the decision to go down a sci­ence track at school, when the human­it­ies turn out to be your bag, can have a negative effect on your life.
golergka
0 replies
15h5m

There are beliefs that are true, and there are beliefs that are beneficial. Sometimes they are the same. But in this case, knowing that you cannot turn back and fix things mostly just leads to depression, whereas faith that you can turn around can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the other case, knowing as a youngster that wrong choices can screw up your whole life doesn't bring anything new — it's not like people want to make bad choices to begin with!

fab1an
0 replies
7h52m

This article is essentially a damaging self-fulfilling prophecy camouflaging as analysis. The world is full of turnarounds, and stories where "mistakes" turn out to be happy accidents: "maybe so, maybe not."

derbOac
0 replies
20h25m

I think lots of times this is the essence of agism: that old dogs can't learn new tricks etc. I'm not sure path dependence needs to be as strong as it is, but it often is because society disallows it.

cynicalsecurity
0 replies
1d1h

Partly true only.

coolThingsFirst
0 replies
5h12m

Life ends at 24

anonnon
0 replies
4h47m

It won't be a myth if life extension ever pans out.

affgrff2
0 replies
11h53m

There is just too much randomness in life and control is an illusion. Of course, it is true that some life choices will close or open doors, but, again, life is messy for everyone. By the way, when did mindfulness fall out of favor with tech people? I have the feeling there is a whole new generation that again has to learn the benefits of contemplative practices from scratch. Anyone here read Search inside yourself etc. ten years ago?

_carbyau_
0 replies
15h49m

Meh. Like many things in life it isn't one or the other.

If you want to be an extreme outlier, you likely will need some extreme outlier events to occur - depending on what your desire is. For many of us, we're not able to influence many aspects and outcomes in that extreme.

And so I like someone's quote: Life is what happens while you're planning other things.

RheingoldRiver
0 replies
22h35m

A girl misid­en­ti­fies a rap­ist, and in doing so shat­ters three lives, includ­ing her own ( Atone­ment).

That's not what happens, is it? I thought she falsely accuses her sister's boyfriend/lover as being a rapist for reasons left slightly unclear to the reader (misunderstanding the situation vs wanting to cause attention).

JoshGG
0 replies
17h6m

Opinion unencumbered by data.

GistNoesis
0 replies
10h41m

Life is hell. There are no second chances, because there weren't even a first chance to begin with. There is no escape because this is hell and there are no escape from hell. Live through it.

Circular logic, endless torments, eternal regrets.

Fixed points of the ethereal planes drawing souls like moths towards burning elevation.

EdwardDiego
0 replies
20h41m

If I'm still breathing, I can still have another go. At least at things I'm not legally or culturally barred from due to age or diagnoses, e.g., no flying planes for me because ADHD.

But I think it's rare for anyone to end up where they had planned, and even rarer for them to get there the way they had intended.

EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK
0 replies
10h38m

BS. There are second, and third, and tenth chances. Besides, you can always adjust your definition of "success", it's in fact pretty flexible :)

2d8a875f-39a2-4
0 replies
9h23m

“Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.”