Ask HN: Who needs help this holidays?

Just want to say thank you to OP for this offer! I'm homeless after ten years in pretrial detention simply because I couldn't get access to my money to bail myself out. By the time I got out everything was gone. I am doing fine though and am on the road to recovery. It's been a hard few weeks as all the food pantries I went to over the Thanksgiving holidays were closed, when you would expect them to be open, but my regular haunt was open again yesterday and another should be open tomorrow.

I don't need anything though, I am (now) a man of extremely humble means. I wake up every morning alive and I have access to the Internet. What more does a nerd need? :D

p.s. I do accept any coupons for free SaaS subscriptions anyone has spare. Literally any tiny bit of money I get goes on subs and a Hetzner three euro/month ARM server rental!

WTF. Ten years locked up without trial, isn't that unconstitutional?

I really don't want to start a flamewar, but as a central european, this sounds crazy ! What is the reason for that ? I'd expect you to be released (well, maybe not for murders and such), and called for the trial when the time comes ?

It's not as rare as we would wish unfortunately[1]. Though years is extreme.

[1] https://www.dw.com/en/presumed-innocent-but-detained-for-mon...

That's a good article, thank you.

I was in a EU prison. I have seen 5 years pretrial detentions with one guy. There is no rule of law.

Me, they put for a month into solitary confinement under 24/7 video surveillance when I demanded to speak to the US embassy, since they did not believe me that I am a US citizen.

No, there were 92 people on bail for murder in my county at the same time I was locked up. They just had the $50K, $100K, $200K .. whatever the judge asked for to secure their release.

There were people I was with doing months in jail because they couldn't come up with $50. I had a homeless cellmate with a $200 bond. I told him I'd get my wife to pay the damned thing, but in the end he managed to get all his homeless buddies to come down to the jail and give $10 or $20 each over three days until he had enough to get out. I won that case for him, he was only jailed because the local police chief was a piece of shit and put a false warrant out for him even though he had committed no crime.

Sadly nothing in the constitution limits the length of pretrial incarceration. I don't understand the full constitutional implications of the those in Guantanamo, but that issue probably had something to do with why their detention was allowed to continue for so long.

I've known several people who managed over 11 years in the Cook County Jail.

I did 8 years and 1 month in jail, then 11 months on house arrest, then another 5 months in jail for Tweeting about police misconduct. Then another 4 months in prison because they didn't want to phone my release site.

So I guess the right to a speedy trial only violated if the prosecution delay the trial for no good reason, but if the whole system is under resourced it doesn’t count?

This. Illinois has a 120 day speedy trial statute (and the constitution has a vaguer requirement), but as you say it is only really violated by the prosecution. If your attorney agrees to any delays the speedy trial clock does not tick.

Kevin Mitnik was famously held for 4 and a half years before his trial. That's where I learned about this shitty practice.

Anyone else rocking the "Free Kevin" bumper sticker back in the day?

This and civil forfeiture stuff always has pissed me off immensely.

I'm really curious, how does that work? Can you not give a lawyer written permission to make certain financial decisions for you such as taking money off of a bank account? Or is it that you had to sell assets such as stocks etc for which you weren't allowed? Or is it that banks froze all your accounts because you're under detention? Or is it that it's not possible to give lawyers such financial permissions in the US?

Thats hard and depends where the money is, it may even be abroad. My US bank did not even reply to inquires from my lawyer in Europe.

I am recovering too. Soon, I got to war.

Can your European lawyer not find you a reliable US lawyer that then you meet in person (in prison) and give them legal authority to handle your financial affairs?

But yeah I understand. Once you're dealing with multiple countries every financial/legal situation becomes much much harder.

Yes, generally you can get a Power of Attorney to assign a lawyer to handle your affairs. One immediate problem with that is you need to find an attorney on contingency because you have no money to pay them a retainer. My bigger problem was that due to factors like immigration I had almost nothing in my own name, or my own name alone, and my wife and I were not seeing eye-to-eye.

That is infuriating to read about, let alone live through. Something around 80-90% of people in US jails are being held pre-trial, most of them with a cash bail option they can’t afford or like you, can’t arrange from jail. I encourage people to donate to organizations like The Bail Project or local bail funds, who are also usually strong advocates for ending cash bail and pre-trial detention policies, which function as a standard way to coerce guilty pleas and avoid trials.

https://bailproject.org/

qingcharles: there are a number of resources available to help you with “re-entry”, and after ten years that seems important. Generally the best help comes from private nonprofits, but there are a lot of official options too (https://nationalreentryresourcecenter.org/). If you’d like any help connecting to groups in your area, feel free to ask, I can probably find some.

The Bail Project people are amazing people and I love and adore everything they do. I kept in contact with them through the last couple of years of my incarceration.

I just checked out that National Re-entry web site. Oh lord, as a web designer I just died a little inside. I tried searching for information and it just gave me pages of PDF internal reports about jail management etc. Literally nothing that would get me food or say, some winter boots.

The problem I've got is that my immigration status was screwed by the incarceration and my SSN is currently invalid. I can't get any ID and I can't access any government services until it is restored. I'm supposed to be in immigration jail until my green card is reinstated, but I talked to an ICE agent and they say I am super low priority as long as I stay out of trouble they won't come after me.

Illinois just took a huge step forward by eliminating cash bail. It hasn't had all the negative impacts that detractors predicted.

I would think a libertarian-orientated place like HN would be in full support. This model should be copied across the country so people aren't unconstitutionally jailed before being convicted. Unfortunately, the discussion has been focused on politics as a Democratic legislature and Governor passed the law.

https://www.chicagotribune.com/opinion/commentary/ct-opinion...

I’ll spot you a a few months at Hetzner — I’ve no coupons will just spot you the cash. I like the company and am willing to help you out as well.

email me!

I need friends

Nobody should downplay this very vital need. Isolation is worse than almost anything; better to be hungry with friends/family than fully fed and isolated.

It's not easy, but if you share what you've tried, people might have suggestions. If you share where you are (I completely understand if not) then you might find neighbors.

I’ve tried clubs/meetups they feel weird and inorganic. Like they aren’t how you’re supposed to make friends.

I should probably get back into music, I’m just worried it’ll lead towards drug use since that’s my past. That and the music I like isn’t very popular.

What music genre are you into?

I can imagine he's into 90s industrial grunge rock.

What made you think that?

90s Indie rock: guided by voices, Royal trux, mercury rev, lemon heads, built to spill

I only know lemon heads, and not even that knee deep with their catalog. 90s was always that depressing drug-fueled era.

Some ideas: Find things that feel natural to you, and you'll find your people.

Also, making friends isn't chit-chat or magic. Just listen and have compassion. Actually be interested in the other person as themself, in their own universe, not as an object in your passion play of need. Do that with everyone.

Some won't want to engage - accepting that is part of being interested in them as separate beings; that's where they are at the moment. Read the situation a bit - how they look, what they're doing, etc., and respect them, have compassion for their difficult day. Some will engage more, people will fit with you more or less, some will become friends to varying degrees. Accept however it works out and you'll have a variety of relationships.

Some will objectify you as an object in their passion play of need - those are relationships to avoid. You aren't really a participant; they only see you as what they need (or as a failure to be what they need). Learn about objectification - important for understanding oneself and others.

I’ve tried clubs/meetups they feel weird and inorganic. Like they aren’t how you’re supposed to make friends.

Agree, but they get you in practice making casual conversation, which is how you make friends — casual conversation with people you frequently share physical space with. Honestly, shared interests are only a bonus; if you share physical space with enough people on a regular enough basis, and repeatedly make casual conversation with them, some of them will magically become friends.

They pretty much are how you’re supposed to make friends though. They create a recurring commitment to be around the same group of people regularly, so you can become familiar and identify people you like, without creating direct social obligations too soon. It can feel inorganic if you are not enjoying the recurring activity itself, and also don’t have any obligation to attend. But that’s how people make friends at school, in college, on their basketball team… it sounds like you’d benefit from finding activities where there is an element of obligation, like a recurring group volunteer event, or a small sports team where someone not showing is a big disadvantage.

I'll throw my hat in the ring: I'm from NYC. It's something how isolated you can feel with so many people around

Hey, I need a friend too. If you give me a contact I will be happy to message you.

Email’s on profile.

Hey! Want to chat? Email in my bio

I've found friendship through several long term "pen pals". We email eachother. Some I've met as former coworkers or we went to school together, some are random people from the internet. Don't discount this form of friendship. If you want you can send me an email, it's in my bio.

People have already given awesome suggestions here. There was also a suggestion a few weeks ago to just chat people up about stuff at stores and some will reject that and others are just as happy as you will be to strike up a conversation and who knows where it'll go from there.

Also for ransom pen pals I use an app called slowly to connect to people around the world. I don't think I've reached out to anyone not super interesting.

Do you have any interesting hobbies? Tell me about them!

Have you read any interesting books? Tell me about them!

Have you had any interesting adventures, trips, or things that you have done? Tell me about them!

Have you written any poems or stories? Tell me about them!

Can I call you?

Perhaps describe something about yourself? Like listing your interests, or location... whatever you're comfortable with? It's much easier to make friends with people you have common things with.

Greetings from Kiev, Ukraine!

Unfortunately, we still at war.

Must admit, now we are much better than year ago, Nov-Dec 2022, near from first day was constant blackouts due to rocket attacks. Your help was very warm light at all this.

Nov 2023 was boring waiting for fate, fortunately nothing special happen, but nobody could predict, how dangerous will be December 2023.

Thank you!

BTW I'm electric engineer and programmer, I ask to everybody who read this thread, please write, if you will got any ideas, how I could help others to feel warmer and safer.

Best wishes man. I used to have a number of colleges from Ukraine I know Russia is still actively targeting your power grid with those damned drones. They could probably use the help with power systems if you've got any experience in that sub specialty. Regardless, I hope you stay safe.

For others, Medshare is running a fundraiser for Ukraine: https://www.medshare.org/zukraine/

They provide medical supplies and stuff like backup generators for medical facilities. They were running a match program and my company has a gift match. Last year google matched contributions to UNHCR. I can't pass up a 3x match to a good cause.

Thank you! War is heavy test of endurance, because of this I will be grateful for any support, but must admit, different ways will give magnitude different results with same resources spent.

For more detailed explanation better if you read Goldratt's Theory of constraints and for beginners introduction good books "the goal" (1/2/3). Also good to read classics - Sun Tzu, the Art of war, it is very short but unfortunately written on old Chinese, which nobody knows, so different translations are significantly different, best if read all translations you could reach in parallel and compare.

Javelins are made with strict reporting, and considered to storage few years. American/European medicine working on evidence based principles and strict protocols.

But at war and emergency, strict protocols usually disabled (and planned operations shift right), because they are extremely slow and expensive, and most Western weapons and supplies are not stored significant time, they near immediately consumed.

And also important, bureaucracy is not good, but Ukrainian bureaucracy now is just disaster, fortunately Ukrainians smart and good in peer interaction, so always when possible, better to use lower level.

So exists few variants to help:

1. If you will help to medicine, via some large fund with their bureaucracy, well, I'm not very optimistic on effectiveness, but I'm grateful.

2. If you find some way to help buy weapons, like Bayraktar heavy drones, also via some big fund, this is better. I'm also grateful.

3. The best, if you hire me, or with your support I'll make my business, probably open source. In this case will be triple win: First, I'll make decent product, I feel very strong importance of tech for community; Second, I will have some predictable future, so I could plan my life and care about health, not wait for medical emergency, so 1st variant will be just not happen with me; Third, I will spend time to talk with Ukrainian military people, I think you understand, they could tell much more to me in private talk, than for people abroad, and I will try to make them best help for this time.

As example, what I could do, FPV drones, which are less effective then Javelin, but cheaper and cost effectiveness of drones is much better. Second example, all drones very depend on communications, I'm really good in communications hard/soft, so I could make things, to make Ukrainian drones communications more reliable, and to interfere enemy communications or intercept them. And others and others. We here at HN, are knowledge workers, all we talk about gather information, store information, and process information, and you might know, knowledge at war is literally life, because with modern weapons, people in many cases don't see enemy, just got info from intelligence that enemy in location X,Y, and who will make successful fire first - will survive.

To be strict, now Russians still have significant advantage in heavy and modern weapons, and strong intelligence, and for them typical to attack civilians, so anything what make more heavy/modern weapons for Ukrainians and less heavy/modern weapons for Russians, will made huge impact on volumes of work for medics.

I'm also open to ideas. My girlfriend's elderly parents are based in Irpin, so I'm worried about heat outages. I've got them a battery powerstation, but even the large ones seem to have a limit of ~1000 watts, whilst a small heater pulls 2000 watts.

I'm contemplating getting a diesel generator, to share amongst them and their neighbours, but it's less than ideal as the generator has to be outside (for ventilation) and their apartment block doesn't have balconies.

This depend on what exact tech is used in heater. Many old heaters are just Ohm heaters, for them working Ohm rule: power is proportional to square of voltage, and simple transformers are extremely effective - 90% is normal (sure, 2000W transformer is not small, but affordable), so if you will just use transformer to transform voltage from 220 to 120, your 2000W heater will effectively become 2000/((220/120)*2) = 595W, so 1000W powerstation could feed it (transformer should be for larger power than feed, 2000W will be normal for case of 2000W heater). Even exist regulated transformers, but I don't recommend they for people without electric education.

For heat pumps (fridges, conditioners), boiler automation, microwave, modern high frequency furnaces, things are more complicated and this will not work directly, but for them usually written MAX power input, but in reality they consume max power only few seconds to start, and all other time, typical 1/4 of max power or even less. So, you need to check peak power output of your powerstation, many have constant power for example 1000W, but peak 2000W.

In some cases, may be good solution automobile booster, as they designed to have insane high peak power.

I could not recommend this, but in many cases, in modern tech, only digital part is much depend on voltage and consume very little power, and use closed loop control and sensors, but heaters are just old Ohm heaters, and they connected with digital by relays, so it is possible to power digital part from external power supply, like mobile charger (international variants usually work 100-240V), and heaters directly with lower voltage (120V instead of 220V).

Are you guys in need of any specific supplies?

Coffee? Batteries? Radios? Car parts?

Hello! Thank you for answer. You hit the bull eye.

What I think we have enough, is coffee, for other things, we need them, but exist nuances.

Most important, I'm veteran of Ukraine Maidan, but this war exhausted us economically.

I must admit, this time I just cannot spend enough money to talk with people offline, I think you know how this is important.

I know, Ukrainian defense need all these things, but not everything. I mean, we have technically powerful enemy, with developed radio intelligence, and environment changing constantly, for example, analog radios are not interest at all now.

And if we talk about radios, car parts, I must do even more - I must regularly talk with officials, and visit field tests, to check how they work on more or less real environment; for cars, I must calculate, which are more economy effective, so I'll not give military forces finance Black Holes.

Sorry, this time I need to take a pause and gather info. Will answer more later.

I think, my other answer also could say something additional: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38503774

Thank you again, please share your thoughts and knowledge if possible.

I have no solutions for safer, but a relatively accessible solution for the literal interpretation of warmer is vulcanized rubber hot water bottles. Relatively little power/heat/energy requirements, but prolonged warmth.

https://web.archive.org/web/20231110021432/https://solar.low...

For the metaphorical warmer, something that could help people that you could probably help with as a programmer is a language learning platform: If people need to leave the country, knowing how helpful spaced repetition can be might save them a lot of strife.

If networking in your region becomes unreliable, it could be useful and helpful to know about mesh networking, but for that to be effective, cooperation needs to happen between multiple parties in different locations, and that can be difficult.

Thank you for mindful answers! I mostly agree they was valuable and gamechangers year ago. I hope, this time we will not need hot water bottles to feel warm.

For about language learning and spaced repetition, things are running.

Just cup of days ago, Ukrainian government decided to make English a must for officials, and made changes to education regulations, so now English will study from first year in all Ukrainian schools.

Spaced repetition, from my own experience, is very depend on how well organized person, and war making huge interference in organization. Imagine, how hard to organize if you every day hear siren of air defense, and nobody could predict, how long war will last, and every day possible some extreme news.

To be honest, I envy to Yugoslavians, as they war last just few months, NATO aviation very fast finished Soviets offense. In Ukraine case, I literally seen few tides and ebbs, when things slowly become more extreme, and then again, slowly return some stability and feeling of safeness.

And the last what I must say, Ukrainians are good in peer interactions, unfortunately at the moment, we have not good reliable results in large scale peer interactions, I think we must study this part of democracy.

I think, my other answer also could say something additional: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38503774

Thank you again, please share your thoughts and knowledge if possible.

I’m in Estonia so I am connected with many of your country mates (and attend a Greek-Ukrainian Catholic Church).

Please shoot me an email if you have any specific requests I can help with and I will do whatever I can to help!

Ok, I feel, you deserve more, because you already helped, but I'm exhausted with emotions, I will write email or IM, I have your contacts, thank you!

I am moving to New York and I need suitcases or boxes to move things. I don't have the money to hire movers or something, so I'm just looking for a suitcase or some boxes which can help me move. Sorry if this sounds incredibly stupid but I've never moved so any advice would also be helpful honestly.

For boxes, in the past I've had luck with liquor or wine stores. Call them up or show up and ask if you can take any boxes. They usually give them to me for free and are very sturdy.

The dumpsters of businesses that have lots of incoming merchandise provide free boxes. Try Walmart, for example.

Apple boxes from the supermarket work well too

Since it's already Christmas shopping season, lots of big box retailers (electronic stores, hardware stores, etc.) probably have had a lot of new products come in, so they might have boxes too.

Second-hand stores have suitcases, or find free ones posted online or at the curb.

try nextdoor, craigslist, fb groups. Lots of free cardboard boxes.

Sam's club has excessive amount of sturdy boxes. If you live near a McDonald's also ask if you can get some of the fry boxes at the end of the week. They are the sturdiest boxes I've ever had. Usually a manager will set some aside for you if you're able to ask nicely.

Check Facebook or Nextdoor in your neighborhood. People who move frequently give away the moving boxes afterwards. If nobody gas posted that they have boxes to give away post and ask if anyone has any moving boxes.

I've also had luck with grocery stores. Especially the produce boxes: they have thick walls and are good for moving dishes.

From their side, they are saving the hassle of breaking down and disposing boxes. So for best results, ask them the preferred pick up time and stick to it. (there's a fine line between "less work disposing of boxes" and "tripping over stuff taking up space all day". If people feel appreciated, they can be remarkably kind.)

Oftentimes, deliveries come on specific days- for any store you ask, plan ahead slightly to work with their schedule. Not every store has the room or space to help, but some will try if they can. (Trader Joe's, for example, tends not to waste space on frivolities like storage. Or parking.)

Moving to a new place is a lot! I hope you find good friends and neighbors when you get there. Taking time to build roots before the new job gets hectic can make a big difference to quality of life later.

I hesitate to post here because I really don't like talking about my problems and have never written anything like this before.

I'm one of the original members of HN and I've been here for a long time; since week one I think.

I'm an American technologist who has done web dev work in the past, but right now I'm stuck on an island in the Philippines without income or employment, and things are getting pretty desperate since it's this close to Christmas and my wife and I have two young children (my youngest is five). The pantry and coffers are empty at this point. The reason I'm here is because my family are citizens of this country and although I am trying to get the immigration paperwork together to bring them to the States, there's quite a lot of red tape and it's taking a lot longer than I expected.

Until recently I had been working remotely but the company I had been with sold and got folded into a bigger corporation and I was laid off along with our dev team.

My goal is to find an entry level back end or front end role that is remote for now. I am working on my Python-fu and I also have experience with HTML/CSS/JavaScript. I am interested in cloud-based technologies.

Since then I've been sending resumes out and doing interviews, but I'm not getting any response or feedback so far whatsoever... not a single bite. The recent trend of BTO (Back to the office) has been killing my chances, I think. I'm willing to take just about any job, help desk, on call, roles that are APAC time zone-only, anything as long as I can do it from here in the PH.

I know this is a long shot but things are getting pretty desperate for me. My family is basically rationing and we're living very close to the edge of bankruptcy. I would be overwhelmed with gratitude if there was help, but most of all I want to just help myself. I am a hard worker and enthusiastic about work in general, and I have a technical background and have worked in several technical roles in the past. Thank you and happy holidays to whoever reads this!

Create an account in Linkedin, you will get a lot of offer from the libro companies but the salary is low compared to other countries but still, you will have a regular money coming in for your family.

I have LinkedIn. "Libro companies"?

Email me. I will try to help. Email is on profile.

If you are comfortable maybe I could take a look at your resume. Not getting ANY response from employers is unusual. Perhaps part of the problem is US/EU companies don't want to hire Philippine residents directly, especially if they don't have a presense there. You might be better off working for a Philippine firm that contracts with US/EU companies.

That sucks. I’m sorry you’re in such a bind. Have you considered teaching? It’s not the most lucrative thing in the world but it can be something until something better comes along. And a storied tech person like yourself might be able to leverage the foreigner card to get an outsized salary teaching the local children or adults tech in a school or university setting.

Would you know happen to know any persons or businesses seeking UX/UI work on contract? I would be very grateful to be put in touch with someone looking for this service, and have work I can show. Thank you :)

hey as a longtime lurker i just created this account for this thread. maybe we could get in touch.

Definitely, how should I reach out to you?

The easiest way is by mail, my username is also my .com gmail account.

Hello, have you tried to write link on your work in HN account description? You could host it on github.

Good luck!

hackernews has a job thread every month. you can find the most recent ones here: https://news.ycombinator.com/submitted?id=whoishiring

check the 'who is hiring' and freelancer submissions for job offers, and make a post in the freelancer or 'who wants to be hired' one.

I can't give money, but I can give my time. I've interviewed hundreds of candidates for the past 3-4 years. Recently I noticed more and more people are immediately available (i.e., they're currently unemployed).

If you're affected by tech winter and looking for someone to have a technical discussion to "upskill", feel free to reach out: https://tidycal.com/wiradikusuma/hn-30-min

I'm writing a "wide spectrum" technical book, but this is not a solicitation for the book. I'm mentioning this just to say I know a thing or two.

What does upskill mean in this context? I may consider reaching out but I don't want to waste your time either

There's a gazillion tech, but our time is limited in learning everything. I can give suggestions (my industry is fintech, and previously banking, e-commerce and telco—so may/may not be relevant) and a starting point. Tech people are generally smart and I'm no smarter than anyone here, so most likely I won't give hard skills. Basically giving my 2 cents from my experience and exposure :)

(Just asking on here since it might be useful to others)

What advice would you give for a stay at home dad (5years) looking to return to tech.

How do I portray that on my resume and on linked in? How big of a deal is it?

Thank you Alexander!

I'm a graduate student in the US, I need some major dental procedures done but am put off by the potential bills (even with a good dental insurance, it would still cost thousands of dollars; a lot of dark patterns, they can't give you a rough quote before doing an expensive checkup).

I did some research myself on where to find more affordable quality dental care in my area, and found that a top dental school nearby would offer care from students at a lower rate, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Happy holidays. :)

...and found that a top dental school nearby would offer care from students at a lower rate, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea.

My parents have been doing that for years at the dental college down the street from their house and have nothing but good things to say. Same college also does eye doctoring and they also go there for that.

IIRC, the format is a newer and more experienced student work on them while an instructor supervises two or three of these groups.

Thank you!

Just tagging along on this but colleges and universities sometimes have the following that are awesome and usually extremely affordable if you're low wage: - auto repair - dental - medical

Hi Alexander,

Thank you for doing this. I work in cybersecurity for state government. Last year I got divorced. Between rent, food, childcare, and meager wages I barely have enough money for food. What I need help with is my car. My rear window broke last week and its due for inspection and registration. I can't afford new tires either. I have a 4 year old and made sure he had toys for Christmas so I've got that covered. I volunteer a lot and try to do my best for my community but I am struggling and can't do anything about the car until maybe spring. God bless you all

How much is the window? How can I chip in to help?

I believe it is $200 for the window motor replacement. The most help I could ask for would be food. If I can get help with food it will free up what I have to address the other stuff ($70 of food would pay my registration for example.)

I can be reached at spdgg@fastmail.com. I'm also just interested in connecting with folks who: are dads, have gone through divorce, work in IT, live in New England, or anyone also just looking to connect. For anyone wanting to do that please feel free to reach out.

If you are someone with auto mechanics knowledge,it is a power window that will go down but not up. It doesn't need to work, it just needs to go up for the winter. Any help with this is greatly appreciated.

Email incoming

Although I'll appreciate any help, I do not feel comfortable asking for it. I'm planning to join a US uni for my phd but the application fees and other expenses are too high to afford by myself at this moment.

Anyway, I'd love to hear your story, and thank you for what you are doing.

Hey, in most cases the application fees are waivable if you write to the application committee explaining that you are in a situation where the fees are a significant barrier.

The rest of the expenses though. Oof. (For americans reading: I paid over $700 just in visa and immigration processing-related fees)

Thanks. Unfortunately not all universities offer a waiver. TOEFL is also quite costly

Hi, perhaps I can help you navigate this with my own limited insight into the bureaucracy of American higher education? I'm working on a startup that is tangentially related, and I'd be happy to put in some research and help you figure out how to clear the hurdles at the specific institutions you're interested in.

Some questions: Have you asked after waivers (even at the schools that say they don't offer them) and if so, what sort of responses are you getting? And have you had any luck finding a school that might spot you a TOEFL voucher? What would the cost of the TOEFL be for you?

I have been putting off dental work to help a family member with severe mentally illness, I am dealing with burnout and working a non programming job with much lower pay and $275 would allow me to schedule the surgery a month earlier (in January). I don't mind being put on a waiting list since some people might be facing eviction or something first, but any help before the end of January would be great.

Email on profile. Would love to help.

Feel free to email me your details and I am happy to help with this.

How do we contact you?

Five years ago, I was in a car accident. Although the other driver was at fault and there were no medical expenses, I haven't been able to get my life back on track since. At the end of this month, I will be homeless.

It looked like I was going to be able to pull it off on my own originally, but it was going to take a year and every waking moment of every day was going to suck in the meantime. I was right about it sucking, but I was wrong about pulling it off. I had finally breathed a sigh of relief the weekend before Christmas Eve in 2019 since it looked like I was actually going to make it and it was only a matter of another month or two. I hadn't allowed myself to attach hopes to anything less than concrete at that point. COVID really screwed that up, and I got reset to zero.

I've been barely holding it together since then. Five years of working sh jobs for even worse people who know they have you and delight in it--even more than they value their own bottom line. Now I don't even have a job; it's been a month since my last paycheck and no more are coming. I look young and inexperienced and give the impression that I'm healthy enough financially/circumstantially to be able to absorb whatever shocks I might incur from others shifting onto me the things that they'd prefer for someone else to bear instead of them. But none of those things are true. People in Austin almost seem disappointed when they peg you for a slacker but it turns out you're not one, like you're doing something wrong.

I'll spend whole days looking for jobs from whomever might take me, including bad ones, with nothing to show for it. Once I write down my professional experience or we talk, anyone with a brain can tell I'm at the wrong place--I should be working somewhere that's a good job. Good jobs take 6 weeks to 6 months, but I don't have that, and I don't have the environmental stability to make it through the process, anyway, as far as take home assignments and clear, distraction-free thinking go. I can't even start to work out how I'm going to wash the last 5 years off my resume.

Can you put a throwaway email in your HN profile for the kind-hearted souls amongst us be able to easily contact you?

Done, thanks.

Reading this back, I realize that this could be taken the wrong way:

"Once I write down my professional experience or we talk, anyone with a brain can tell I'm at the wrong place--I should be working somewhere that's a good job."

The idea being that this sentiment is either stated explicitly by the other person during the interview, or it comes across in tone. I'm not saying or thinking anything like this. I don't feel like I'm owed a "good job". (I do feel entitled to dignity, on the other hand.)

I have been told outright to dumb down my resume and that I'm obviously overqualified. Anyone paying attention can pick up on the clues that I "shouldn't" be there, that it's only a temporary accident that I'm even available, and they're understandably hesitant to say "yes" if they feel they're just going to be back in the same situation looking for another worker shortly down the road, once I get back on my feet. They'd rather take a chance on a so-so worker who's not exactly reliable and is somewhat irresponsible if it means there's a chance that person will be around for an expected 2 or 3 years, rather than me, the wildcard. That leaves the people who aren't able to put things together. Accordingly, working for these people is generally miserable either by accident or takes a turn to being exploitative or abusive by intent (because "the cruelty is the point").

Not sure if this fits but compsci student from Germany here.

Ever since I was unceremoneously kicked out of my parents' house after graduating from HS I've lived in a student dorm, now sharing a flat with a friend splitting rent. Been somewhat "cruising along" financially in the sense that I gained roughly enough to pay my monthly expenses with not much wiggle room. Had to go a bit into debt to fund moving into the dorm initially and never exactly recovered from that debt, just hovering with nothing really changing.

Recently lost access to my student loan as I am too slow to study for their requirements but I've managed to offset that by working as sysadmin/tech support at a small uni lab. My main sources of income being this job, "child benefits", and a half-orphan pension (lost my mom to alcohol when I was 15, dad remarried later). This half-orphan pension now _also_ fell off until I have the paperwork handled to re-request it after they asked me for proof that I've been studying two years ago, which I sent in too late. This pension also covered healthcare automatically.

Now with my pension out of the picture until they process it I have been thrown into the regular healthcare system, which added a monthly expense that I was not prepared for, especially because they are also requesting that I retroactively pay up for 3 months of apparently missed contributions/fees. Sent them an email a few days ago asking if it was possible to pay this off in monthly rates to hopefully make it a bit more manageable, but they have a very archaic policy of not responding to emails and only sending out paper mail. I also tried calling but the person I talked to wasn't exactly helpful outside of "have you tried sending an email". I am honestly at a bit of a loss as to how to approach this.

There were some pipe dreams of finding more work but the job market is, excuse the expression, fucked. Nobody would employ a student who hasn't finished their bachelor's yet. I'll probably try to find a job at some fastfood place or grocery store next and put my studies on pause. This might bite me back later because of credit point requirements from my course but still better than having debt collectors on my ass.

I understand that this is all over the place. It would mean the world to me if someone could even find the time to chime in and give some advice.

10-year lurker, first time poster here - also studied CS in Germany.

Healthcare costs: Does your uni or city offer free legal consultation? They might be able to help with how to ask your health insurance for monthly rates or a delay in bills.

Rent: How close are you with your friend? Would it be a possibility that they temporarily loan the rent, so that you can cover your unexpected bills?

Work: How close are you too finishing your studies and how close are you to the maximum study duration? If possible, you could reduce the amount of ECTS you're taking for the semester to make time to work up to 20h or more during semester breaks / exam phases. Taking a semester break for paid internships / any work is also a good possibility, unsure what you mean with credit point requirements. You could argue for an official "vacation semester" due to personal hardships. Working any job to make a living and cover your expenses is honorable. If possible, focus on building a track record of technical jobs. How comfortable are you with programming? Please try applying as working student or freelancer to companies in your area, as programming jobs likely pay higher per hour and build career capital for your next application. Likely, mid/large companies have no open headcount at the end of the year, headcount for these companies typically comes early in the following year. Startups, small local companies, and web/marketing agencies looking for freelancers might be different and also are more likely open to hire someone with little experience. Most CS people I know overuse the internet to look for jobs and underutilize their network. Ask fellow students, friends, and extended family if they know any open roles.

Credit: Have you considered taking a Studienkredit or similar type of loan for students?

Wish you the best!

Thanks a lot for the reply!

I am not aware of any such consultation offerings but I will investigate if that is an option, thanks for pointing this out.

After consulting her fortunately that is most likely an option, we have a buffer on our shared account to pay rent for ~3 more months but I'd just be shifting the debt to a place that wants it back less urgently, I still have to figure out how to get the extra income to make it happen.

I am about halfway through the required modules to start my bachelor's thesis so I still have a bit to go; The biggest problem is that I have a bunch of failed exams resulting from a multitude of things (both psychological because of the pandemic, idealistic because of some sketchy privacy practices, and very bad sleep causing me to _oversleep_ on exams). This is hard to explain to anyone asking, which happened to me before while I tried to apply for a job.

The course I study has requirements for how many credit points you need at the end of certain semesters to be allowed to continue studying, which I fear I will not reach if I lessen the uni load to focus more on earning enough to pay my bills.

I do have years of hobby-level programming in a multitude of different languages and environments, some of it going as far as almost being "professional" (I was paid on a few occassions to develop custom web solutions) and having contributed to a charity project centered around Minecraft a few years ago. I am unsure how to present any of this and if it actually matters at all, outside of just linking my GitHub profile. The same goes for my Scrum Master certificate, it feels a bit wasted after I found out how little people actually care about it.

I wish I could utilize a network to look for solutions, but outside of my siblings and that flatmate I don't really have any contacts (there wasn't much social interaction during the covid semesters and I never recovered from that). Especially none who would be working at places that'd look for someone like me.

Funded my Dipl.-Ing. studies in Germany by myself. There was no shitty or half criminal job I didn’t took. Hold on. One day it will over and better.

What an incredibly great man you are.

My buddy Travis in Vancouver needs help. But I have no idea how to reach him. Seems not to access his Facebook profile anymore. Supposedly he lives on the streets.

If you mean Vancouver, Canada, that’s where I live. A friend of mine used to work with a social service agency. He might know where I could put up flyers or something. It is common to see these sorts of things just pasted up on lampposts, too. Do you have a picture? Other details? Email me at the address in my profile if you want to be more private.

Please check your keybase

I will try to contact you

I really don't feel comfortable asking for help, even though I'm in an emergency mode with my whole day focused on trying to fix this. I've been trying to get back on my feet for months and I feel terrible about having to sit with my face in front of a screen all day trying to sort out my financial situation with short breaks to spend with my family, especially my son. I canceled a trip to see my parents for Christmas, who live far away, but it's the traditional meeting place. There are other many important dates that I simply cannot attend or do anything about at the moment, even 10 years of marriage in January. Anyway, I hope everything gets better soon. I'm trying hard, despite fear and other constant bad feelings.

There’s no shame in asking. If you change your mind, my email is in my profile and I’d be happy to help.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

Same. I’m happy to contribute what I can

Same here. Email on profile.

What a beautiful initiative, thank you.

This might be a good place to inform people about the existence of the Sheltersuit Foundation [1] (I'm not affiliated in any way). They create decent sleeping bags for the homeless, and accept donations to provide them to those in need.

Last night a lot of Dutch people slept outside for one night to raise funds for the homeless. [2]

[1] https://sheltersuit.com/

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSA9AoWfVwU

Greetings from Kiev, Ukraine!

We are grateful for your country support at these heavy for us times!

Thank you for sharing this info!

Looking someone to discuss my development progress (bi-?)weekly. I have promising validated idea. However without funding and with full time job it is tough. And I find myself too tired to continue development. My e-mail is in the profile. The topics: 3D sensing in elderly care.

What sort of input are you looking for in particular?

More or less project controlling/management with regular progress reviews.

Reading through these threads has left me crying on the bus. I’m ashamed that I can’t pay my rent this month after my cat died, and feel foolish for spending that money with the vet that tried to save her. I feel I caused my own hardship. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet, but I’ve been listing my belongings on Marketplace to try and make up the gap. So if anyone in Australia wants to buy my MacBook Air or PS5, say hi.

What? You feel foolish about trying to save your cat? What’s wrong with you? I will sell my kidney to protect my dogs if I have to. Email me. It’s on my profile.

Hey, fellow Australian. We have chickens -- you heard me, chickens -- and I'd pay anything to keep them healthy. We love them. Never be ashamed to love your pet.

I don't have a lot at the moment, I 'went solo' earlier this year. But Patreons give me AU$90/month, and this month, it's yours.

Email's in my bio, send me your account details. No arguments, and no reply comment required.

Between our adopted fur babies, family deaths, and live just happening, we are definitely feeling the strain of the holidays. I don’t know that I feel comfortable asking for help, but I sincerely appreciate you doing this

Feel free to reach out any time this month if you start to feel the assistance would help.

If it doesn’t bother you, I would love to keep you in my prayers.

I'm moved and find it difficult to express the right words of sympathy, but I hope things get better soon for you with the other, kinder side of life

This will sound like a non-problem compared to some of the other posts here. Please forgive me if so.

This is about scam calls on my cell phone. I have received over 30 spam calls every single working day in the last six months. My phone has become completely useless outside of 3-4 apps because I had to mute all notifications.

Initially, I tried to block and report those calls but soon gave up because there were just so many every single day. Then I tried to receive some and most of them seem like selling me end of life coverage. I am not even that old!

I have missed a few important calls due to this. It has become a significant nuisance right now in my life.

Can I do something about it? Can someone help me get rid of all these calls? I would greatly appreciate if someone could help me effectively get rid of such calls.

I recommend setting a silent ringtone by default and then manually setting ordinary ringtones for your contacts.

Alternatively, if you’re on iOS, there seems to be a setting that automatically does this at:

Settings > Phone > Silence Unknown Callers: Set this to ON.

My parents went through the same thing. You should be able to go to your carrier and get a new phone number and if they push back explain why. My mom was being threatened over the phone by debt collectors daily at all hours of the day for the previous numbers owner so I feel you. It sucks getting a new number but sounds like it's the best action to take. Make sure you're cautious about handing it out online but I don't even know anymore if that has any real bearing on spam calls these days.

I'm hesitant to post but here goes.

I shared something about my current situation a couple days ago. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38464859

I've been looking for work most of this year. Lost count of the number of applications sent out and rejected. I've been turning over every rock and scraping every barrel bottom without success.

Rent is now late as of 12/1. Internet shut off yesterday, which is problematic for trying to find work.

I'm frankly embarrassed to be in this situation. I've always been the person to help out friends and family in situations like this and luckily they've been helping me out where they can, but they can only do so much.

Email me as well. I will try to help. Email is on the profile.

Please email me. We’ll figure out something for the immediate needs.

Hang in there; I’ve been in this position and it is possible to get out. Look forward to connecting soon.

I really need some therapy.

Email me. I might be able to help. Email on profile.

Have you tried ACA meetings?

adultchildren.org

It’s twelve-step based, but more focused on recognizing and managing one’s traumas. ACA can synergize nicely w/ therapy. Since it is technically free, it could be a useful companion to therapy, or even a substitute while professional is not available.

I am in US, but ACA is international.

I am a big believer in therapy, but it can be costly, and finding an effective therapist for you can be a difficult onramp to effective care. ACA + therapy has been a helpful combination for me.

I am technically homeless and would like $300 for food budget.

I can share more information about my situation in a month.

So help me out. You won't regret it.

Payment Methods: https://switchupcb.com/donate

Thanks

Email me and we will get you taken care of.

Unfortunately a Palestinian can't avail this opportunity because Israel has cut off Internet and financial channels

Thats true. If you’d like to help Palestinian people you can give to many well-respected charities who are currently working in Gaza, such as Doctors Without Borders (https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/what-we-do/where-we-wo...).

Like most people asking help on here, I find it extremely difficult to approach others for financial assistance, but could really use a hand. Been out of the market since July, had to move to a cheaper place, along with a lot of inter-relational (though mostly unrelated) issues with my SO.

There are a few medical procedures that I need to cover, for both me and my SO, let alone to afford Christmas which at this point is of little comparative relevance

I'm mostly a python and C programmer, and have continued to work on my opensource contributions in the time that is left from searching for jobs and dealing with other issues.

It's rather embarrassing but I couldn't thank enough to see this kind of initiatives, even if I don't get anything from it, I'm sure there are others in greater need

Email me. I want to help. Email on profile.

Asking for advice.

I work as programmer with salary equivalent of ~7500$/yr. Around this area, this feeds the family fine, me and spouse. No child. Really little savings.

Recently spouse got cancer. No personal insurance due to limited salary--even now. We, through our govt. has ok healthcare coverage but arguably weak service. The thing is my employer healthcare is just too good, I just need to worry with logistics.

I am afraid of switching job since I'm worry I may not be able to cover my spouse h/c & medication anymore (~250$/mo minimum, usually more with sudden ER visit, which currently I don't really have to think about). However the rise is so insignificant y/y or promotion wise, I may have as well content with similar pay for years to come. Multiple jobs are risky.

Anyone having similar problem? Any suggestions on what I should do/consider?

I’m risk averse. So in your situation I’d stick it out and help your wife beat cancer. Sticking to the job you have and staying productive and employed will probably be the least stressful way on you to be available to help her. Starting a new job is so much stress and full of unknowns that it will preoccupy your time and distract you from being there for her.

If you can maybe do an inventory of your burn and see what ancillary services / costs you have that you can save on. Maybe ask family to chip in to help with childcare or cooking meals etc etc to save money but also give you more time.

Cancer sucks. I’m sorry. I hope you all make it through.

Thanks for doing this.

On the off chance that someone with the means, knowledge, or connections to help sees this, I need stability - not money nor anything physical.

I need piece of mind. I need to have enough energy to be productive instead of being always in survival mode.

I was born in a place where I do not belong. I am not a cultural, a (un)theological, or even linguistic fit. I knew it from a very early age and so I left - 13 years ago... and have been on the "run" since. I've only gone back to renew my passport - physical presence being a requirement.

I bare no ill-will against any individual. Group-think is a powerful phenomenon. Perhaps the most difficult part of it all is being aware of what I shared above. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a little bit less "exposed" if you would.

I've traveled, I've volunteered, I picked up "side jobs" and I've learned. It's just that every time I manage to get the slightest progress towards stability, the waves come crashing down - I've learned to accept that as a fact of life.

"Move away from the waves" - Someone, somewhere.

I long for a simple life. A roof, just enough sustenance, and a basic connection to the internet. I have no desire for anything else. I have found my calling and all I need is just enough stability to be able to work on creating it - which I have been doing for the last 16 months, but it's immeasurably hard to allocate any energy towards it when I'm on basement 2 on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I say this with no hesitation, but I would be 100% content supporting my existence and working on my calling for the next 10 years exclusively. I have found joy. I just need to eliminate the noise.

And so I find myself writing this, for reasons I don't understand yet. Stranded at an airport somewhere in the east of the globe as I have been for the last few months. I have gotten better at acting like everything is fine in public, but when the night comes, there's no escaping the fact that I have been "homeless". Homeless is such a strange word to write since I never really had a place that I can call home.

There's no doubt a price to pay for such privilege, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes, anywhere where I can feel "home."

Regardless of the outcome of this comment, thanks for creating a place where I can share a little bit. It's a bit of a relief to drop the façade even if just for a little bit. Who knows where life takes me next and this comment will certainly be an anchor, a landmark, and maybe even a new start.

Never before have I read prose which soundly resonated with me! By the same measures, I too seek the stability and a place I can call "home". Yet every time I feel that I found a place I could call home, reality kicked back very hard and I was made to feel different, separate, an "other".

I'm not sure which direction I'm headed to, and unlike you, I haven't even found my calling, so at least you have it better than some. And at least, I know now that I'm not alone in this experience.

I just would like to say you are all awesome for helping a brother or sister in distress especially this coming holidays. I have a lot of problems but I see a lot of people need more help than me. I can't help but I will pray for all of you guys you get on your feet again.

Sure you can help. Sometimes it's just being there for a friend or stranger even if you don't think it's that beneficial it really can be to have someone around.

My wife moved to the US from Portugal 3 years ago - during Covid lockdowns. Today we have three children and she has still yet to see her family. She only recently received her Green Card (I was her sponsor), and was forced to remain in the US until it was approved. Now, we don’t have the money to fly the family there, and her family does not have the money to fly here. Watching my children get to know their grandparents through FaceTime has been heart wrenching, but it goes without saying that this has been hardest on my wife. She has had two children without her mother or father nearby, in a foreign country where she rarely speaks her mother tongue. I was hoping to fly all of us there this year, but we had a series of unexpected expenses that completely drained our nest egg. Supporting this family is the most important thing in my world, and sometimes I feel like I just don’t do or have enough Any help would be greatly appreciated.

If you set up a go fund me or something similar I’d chip in. This is such a laudable effort I want to do what I can to help!

I've been homeless since around 2014. I've just kind of accepted I'm going to die homeless and alone.

What city are you in?

Late at the end of the week is probably the best place to admit I/m worried about my business failing and family health, mostly cancer that didn't respond to a treatment, but there's more. Taking care of aging parents isn't easy, and especially when I started a business with one. Healthcare, support, and trying to do two jobs has worn me out, I just want to sleep but I need to figure out how to get through the next month or two. I prefer giving to people when I can but some assistance, even just to let me buy a book for each family member would help. Although I've been avoiding the question of how to get a thoughtful gift for someone with a 50/50 chance of getting to use or appreciate it.

No matter what, I like seeing things like this in various online communities, it brings the human out in us.

What kind of business are you in? Do you need any help with business specific tasks?

I am a grave digger. I dig probably 5 graves a week. it is really hard work. Although I work so much, the pay is not so good. I have no money to spend on holiday presents, and even don't have enough to pay the heating bill. I live in Berlin, and a couple of months ago, the price of gas heating went DOUBLE; so imagine that, in one month, your entire -carefully planned budget- is decimated. It was an intense shock! Anyways, my point is this: i just want to be able to make my family happy.

in good faith, morgan chalk-levy

Email me - if I can help pay your gas bill, I’m happy to. Email’s on my profile.

I have never asked for hand-outs like this, but a friend of mine said I should post here. I just finished paying off years of medical debt over the summer, and quit working temporarily to travel halfway across the U.S. to help my cousin cope with her mother dying suddenly. I chanced it without getting private insurance during this short time in my life.

After returning to my hometown, I was suddenly hit overnight with crippling medical debt that I cannot even begin to pay as I have run out of funds from paying off other bills. I was debt-free for almost one day. In less than 24 hours, I fell into about $31,000 of debt and don't even know where to begin paying this off, due to an emergency surgery to remove a kidney stone.

Even if it's just a small amount to make one payment to keep the bills out of collections, anything helps.

I can't help financially but I've been in a similar situation a bunch of times. Medical debt usually can be negotiated or there are programs wherever you had the surgery done to alleviate some or all of the burden in your situation. It may not hurt to give their number a ring and explain your situation - the worst they can say is no but I've never run into that.

Thank you for doing such a great thing. In my years on HN I have seen things like this come up several times. Offers of jobs, money or just a warm meal. The world will reward you for what you are doing.

In my case...things are difficult but not impossible. Month to month is an understatement and through the last 5 years it has become more and more painful but there is still hope.

I personally don't want anything to be given/gifted to me but if everyone could do a favor to all those who are struggling. It won't take long...

All I request is that this holiday season everyone thinks hard about what they have and how they got there. Remember all those who helped you...and those who did not receive the same.

Review your investment portfolio and think about the effects of where you put your money. Are your investments furthering poverty for others? Is there a way to rearrange your portfolio in a way that not only increases your wealth but also helps others?

Giving is good...helping those who are in poverty is important. Preventing people from getting to poverty in the first place seems like a more effective way of preventing homelessness.

Fix the small problems while they are still small.

https://www.egreenway.com/taoism/ttclz63.htm

I never thought about investments being able to help people - if you are talking about stocks or something do you have examples? I'm generally curious. I only have a pitiful retirement account but if indeed that is what you're suggesting I'm all for it.

That all said - my wife and I have been extremely poor before to the point of digging in the couch for enough cash to split a dollar burger for dinner and hoping the fumes in my car get me to work until my check shows up that week due to medical expenses. I really have my heart warmed for everyone on here helping others out. Even if it's just spending time with friends who have no one else you can make someone's 2023.

Thank you Alexander for opening this thread here, it's a great initiative.

Recently (like a month ago) I got involved in helping old people that are in villages around my town. We are a group of ~10 friends, which have relatives in those villages and as such we found out that there are old people, 70+, whom have low income pension and live alone. Their neighbors provide some help with physical activities around their house but that's all, since all are poor as well. Their pension provides them with minimal food to survive, but nothing more, basically they just wait to die.

We started to get money to help them with their medication, mainly arthritis and rheumatism, therefore our goal is to raise ~4k USD. Between us we raised ~1.5k USD, which covers the more stringent needs of their medications and that's all. The people we help are scattered around villages around Timisoara, Romania (my town) and with upcoming holidays season we feel that we'll have way less time to dedicate to this task.

Any help is appreciated. I never done anything like this before, I have 0 experience on raising money or setting up web portal, bank account or as such. I did made a mail address at helpvillagers@protonmail.com, so feel free to help me with advice, or questions there.

Thank you in advance.

Hello everyone this is a great initiative and hopefully i will be able to help contribute someday. For now things are really tough in my country as I am currently jobless and have no money for my personal upkeep and rent is due on the 5th.Rent is just 100usd here and other utilities. I would appreciate any sort of help.

I, uhhh, look. I feel weird posting about this, I don’t need really need anything.

This is year 3 since I was diagnosed with MS, and the second treatment of this amazing drug (Lemtrada) I have is in January (did 2 years of another drug first). After this year, theoretically, I should be done getting drugs for this and provided I don’t get cancer or something else horrifying, I should be able to relax a little. Hopefully forever.

I’ve had to reinvent myself as a result of this, I lost my old career, I am almost through gradschool to start my second career. I went hiking across Spain in the heat of July, other than my vision being trash and a plethora of weird body sensations, I want for nothing. No, I’m fine.

But I wasn’t fine. I was definitely messed up as a result of this, and occasionally I have a really hard time just dealing with life, usually in November when it’s the anniversary of first getting sick. I was really lonely for awhile and while I have great family and great support I had to wrestle with most of this stuff on my own. Nobody else can understand when you get sick if they haven’t had that experience.

Anyway, give money, help people out, etc. I get things are hard out there, but if you can, think good thoughts for your fellow human being this year. People are dealing with a lot of garbage and you may not be able to see just looking at them.

I look totally normal - I’m just some random middle aged dude, but I’ve recently suffered immensely and you’d never know it unless you knew me closely. I’m on the mend, and I’ll be fine, but I guess I mean to say, often times you don’t know when people are having a hard time. I guess what I ask is that can you cut people some slack? Call your old friends, you haven’t talked to in a bit, reach out to that one friend who’s been absolutely obnoxious during the present Omni-crisis we’re in. Touch base with that friend who’s getting a divorce, or whatever. Reach out to your friends, forgive your enemies if you can, and think good thoughts for those who are suffering.

I am not a religious person at all, so this isn’t based in that, but like, be collaborative not competitive, help people not because you think you’ll look good for doing it, but because we all know it’s the right thing to do. Do that for me, please even if you can’t help out here. Treat others nicely this winter, you don’t know what they’re going through, and they often don’t want to tell you or talk about it.

My name is Astryr, and I'm a disabled trans woman living in the UK.

I have depression, severe ADHD, burnout, a sleep apnea, and some kind of weird fatigue thing -- all of which blocks me from touching code, which is pretty much the only thing I am capable of and good at. According to testing I experience an apnea around 100 times an hour, and I wake up for 90 of those. On top of this I have a certain amount of agoraphobia and I completely shut down in stressful situations, which has prevented me from seeking UC and disability support payments. My job let me go last year, despite their assurances that they were disability friendly, so I've had to move back in with my parents which while it saves me from homelessness, means I'm without any social support that would help me through applying for UC. I am waiting for second stage triage for ADHD medication and for the local GIC to get back to me, both of which are six+ months away (it could be a year or longer, even).

I'm currently coasting on savings, which means I have approximately 100 quid left, and it has to last me for the next six months or longer. What I'd like is enough money to get an indoor cycle (even a shitty, broken cycle would be sufficient), so I can have the human equivalent of a hamster wheel to help get my blood pressure down so they will actually be inclined to prescribe ADHD medication when the time comes. Anything more will go towards private appointments for an ADHD diagnosis, which will hopefully allow me access to non-stimulant ADHD medication (which is not prescribed under the NHS), which will help me get back into work.

This entire situation feels extremely crushing, maybe posting here is a bit of a long shot. Regardless, thank you for reading and my email is available on my profile <3

While not easy for me to ask for assistance, I have been working on my solo projects for the past 6 months, funding myself from saved wages. The oil in the lantern runs thin, metaphorically speaking, and any assistance would be greatly greatly appreciated. I am working on a nonprofit storefront for musicians to sell their music, for which we will take no platform fee for the first $1000/mo. in revenue. I find that this aim is something that drives me since I have a ton of musician friends who would tangibly benefit in their lives from something like this were it available. So I am working on it diligently. I will likely have to pick up some sort of shift work and code part time, work a delivery job part-time, until ends are meeting properly. If you would like to help that would be super amazing.

I'm not doing great at all myself these years, so I know all too well how bad things can get for somebody. I'm able to give some funds (however little I can put together, i.e. $50 CAD) to contribute to what you're doing OP. If you have a place for a donation do let me know. I'm in Montreal and can also do my best to help if there's something local to here.

It's a really cool idea you have there and I wish you the best

I’ve been struggling with finding work this past year (really since Covid hit, but I was working somewhere alright in 2021 for 8 months until I got laid off due to lack of work). Queens, NYC.

We haven’t been able to afford rent or electric, and we have nowhere to go, and we have no family that can help us.

Our electricity has been on a shut-off notice for months, and we are in a holdover eviction case with a conference date of this coming Monday, 12/4.

We’re working with social benefit services, and there’s a chance we will be able to get a housing voucher, but there’s no guarantees and we haven’t even been able to begin the application process for it yet because they won’t answer the phone or call us back…

It’s very likely we will be forced out in the beginning of 2024, with nowhere to stay but streets or a homeless shelter.

I really just want to find work, to be able to take care of my partner and I (and our cat!)

I don’t really want any sort of handout, I just want to find a way to know my family will be safe.

I doubt there’s anything that can be done to directly help us, but I honestly don’t know what else we can do.

My email is on my profile.

I can't give money, but I have a stack of notecards and some stamps. I'll happily send a silly joke and happy holiday wishes to anyone who emails their address (email in profile). No promises, but if there's anything in particular you like (e.g. snow, the ocean, bears), let me know and I'll see if I have a card or joke to match.

This is really kind of you and those who also jump in to help. Wishing everyone the best!

I am struggling to find a job as a DevOps/SRE for a whole year already and even though I'm not homeless (I was lucky to buy a cheap house in East Cleveland, OH), I'm barely getting by financially. I fish I could afford a gift for my 4 yo kid, the boy needs either a laptop, a TV (yes, we watch movies etc on my only laptop right now) or an electronic piano (he is really into music). It would be great if someone could assist.

Not sure how much I can help this year financially, but if anyone is in need in the DC area, let me know and I’m sure I can do something.