Anybody who says 'I need you to...' goes on the list, even if they are not actually talking to me myself.
Can you say more about this? I use this phrase (or slight variations) all the time in both work and personal contexts. I had no idea it could be abrasive.
Anybody who says 'I need you to...' goes on the list, even if they are not actually talking to me myself.
But more seriously:
Ensure people know what and why something is important, ideally by arriving at that conclusion jointly and as part of an overarching plan that everyone can feel involved in - thus requests shouldn't be a surprise, they aren't coming fromyouso much as fromthe plan(nebulous though it may be).
Don't try to maintain 'superiority' by withholding information.
Show consideration for other pressures that somebody might be under.
Listen when they say no.
Close the loop so that good results get back to the person who did the thing.
Handle bad results in the same way that the NTSB deals with plane crashes - find the flaws in the system instead of somebody to blame.
Be ready to help out others as they have helped out you.